Well you must be a strapping young man. :)

Not sure how people can say YDI. Sorry OP, I can't even imagine the pain.

Did you forget to put your pants and underwear on? Try not to do that next time.

There's a lesson to be learned here... Never wear pants. Nothing but trouble.

OP, Sorry you had to experience that. I myself have gone through many forms of trauma to my groin, including being stomped, bitten, burnt with both fire and scalding water, frozen with ammonia refrigerant, zippered, punched and twisted, so I understand your pain. Fyl, hope it ended well. :P

Time to wear some briefs

That's the universe's way of neutering you. It's called "justifiable sterilisation".

Flashbacks!! OUCH!!!!

How in the hell did you manage that?

so... your belt buckle is low enough that it caught your balls? this probably means that you need to pull your pants up past your asshole.