Miscellaneous: Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind...

By Shamu - 27/02/2011 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 011

You deserved it 7 088

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Wasted

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 952

You deserved it 4 765

By Username - 19/05/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 194

You deserved it 7 952

That one friend

By meesa in big doo do dis time! - 13/06/2017 12:00

Today, I learned that all of my "friends" refer to me as the, "Jar Jar Binks" of our circle of friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 527

You deserved it 474

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 17:25 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 884

You deserved it 13 420

Thanks guys

By ConfidenceShattered - 07/05/2022 14:00

Today, I walked past a group of men on my way to work. Instead of catcalling me, they made pig and whale noises at me, and yelled fat shaming comments. By the time I'd reached my building, I had been reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 06/04/2015 03:31 - United States - New Britain

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 928

You deserved it 5 130

By Shrimpy - 16/03/2019 20:00

Today my girlfriend and her 3 friends walked in on me doing a solo performance on myself. They stood their quietly and videoed it unknown to me. And then afterwards laughed and made fun of how small I am. And to make it worse forwarded the video to everyone. Now everyone calls me shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 144

You deserved it 520

By brutality - 15/06/2009 05:38 - Canada

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 4 122

By fakelaugher - 20/12/2010 03:41 - United States

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 296

You deserved it 24 296

Where d'you all go?

By Notwanted - 20/04/2021 17:00

Today, I found out why the group chat I was in with my friends has been dead. Apparently, they made a group chat without me in it, so that they could make fun of me behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 92

SaltedSeaSlug 0

Monday 28 February 2011 0:51

I guess they really aren't your friends, are they?

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 28 February 2011 1:02

Whether or not you're heavy doesn't matter-- your friends shouldn't be rude to you! Get some new friends.

Comments

Bonta_kun_fml 2

Wednesday 2 March 2011 18:07

well, if its behind your back, just throw yourself back and crush em!, they will see why they call you killer whale, witch: whale bitch

hapahaole85 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 7:55

obviously not real 'friends'

Chaosinferno 4

Thursday 3 March 2011 15:18

Smack around our dirtbag friends and get better ones no one should have there friends insulting them

haliadere 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 6:37

this is gay and not FML worthy at all. it's boring and doesn't make me laugh.

ajinfamous 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 10:04

Fatty drinks from the hose

texasmademe 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 3:40

they're not friends.

lilmisslovely13 15

Wednesday 20 April 2011 16:12

thats so mean! they're obviously not your friends. you're better off without them D:

zebrapattern 6

Monday 23 May 2011 20:38

well it wouldn't have made sense if they called you "Shamu the chicken", would it.

jcdiva7 0

Monday 30 May 2011 19:35

I know how you feel...I use to get that too...dump their asses

Bonta_kun_fml 2

Monday 20 June 2011 13:50

******* FATSO

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 390

The Top

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fish. My coworker named them what I thought were completely random names. I said, "Those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kids' names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 595

You deserved it 32 370

Today, I was telling my friends that I'd gotten a paid position to cover a worker's bereavement leave for the next three weeks. They then called me an insensitive bitch for "profiting from someone else's misfortune." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 625

You deserved it 2 859

Today, I hate my body. If I eat anything at all, even a piece of fruit, I get terrible stomach cramps, and yet if I go too long without eating, I get gassy diarrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 112

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 11 100

Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 2 237

Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 823