Intimacy: Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad...

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 613

You deserved it 13 188

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Same thing different taste

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 12 175

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 198

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 463

You deserved it 5 679

Thanks, Mom

By The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 3 310

Freeze peach

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 22:30

Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 272

Meddling

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 623

Parenting fail

By Anonymous - 21/01/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 547

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 01:48 - Canada

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 176

You deserved it 41 138

Call the police!

By ChangingTheLocks - 13/07/2019 12:30

Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 159

Inappropriate, honey

By Jessica - 15/05/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 47 702

TheOthin 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 9:53

I can't be the only one who missed the "in law" bit at first.

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 9:23

maybe you should do it in THEIR bed

Comments

firefighter86 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 18:47

Wow how immature!

tb15 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 19:25

I'm confused...are they blood relatives or not

tb15 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 19:33

Never mind, I just got that the two are husband and wife, not brother and sister

LILWEEBY 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 19:48

I hope he mean his "son" and his " daughter in law" not his "son and daughter in law"

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Wednesday 18 August 2010 7:13

If the OP's children's spouses were the ones having sex, it'd be "son- and daughter-in-law." The OP's phrasing was fine.

Jerals 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 19:49

You deserved it . Then again fyl for having them soiled furnitures.

zulu500 1

Tuesday 17 August 2010 20:04

I would have told them to get the **** out of my house...change the locks...haha

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 17 August 2010 21:40

clean the furniture. probably sell the dining table.

foxy1222 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 23:27

when they do it spray with water like you would for a cat!

uroborous 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 0:12

wincest is hott

Winter247 2

Wednesday 18 August 2010 0:40

I'm curious as to how you found out. awkward bunny..

tinybear93 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 1:04

hahahahaha

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, my brother-in-law introduced my son to Andrew Tate videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 190

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 494

You deserved it 4 656

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 449

You deserved it 10 090

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 154

You deserved it 4 360

Today, just before bed, I decided to put away the dry washing. I ended up knocking over my boyfriend's precious brewing ginger beer. It took me an hour to clean it off the floor, cupboards, door, outside and inside of the fridge. Everything is still sticky and smells of yeast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 376

Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 566

You deserved it 1 285