Kids: Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one...

By Jilly - 08/08/2011 06:45 - Australia

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 5 313

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Same thing different taste

Parenting in 2021

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 19:30 - United States

Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 114

By Potted - 16/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Denton

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 962

You deserved it 3 907

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 12:00

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 577

Fortress of solitude

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 18:00

Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 627

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 192

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 342

Grifter

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 01:30

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 707

You deserved it 677

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 916

You deserved it 551

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 21:19

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 025

You deserved it 2 895

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 5 043

NiceGuyz 0

Monday 8 August 2011 15:58

You should beat his disobedient ass!

Free_Candy 0

Monday 8 August 2011 16:01

It better be trident layers.

Comments

MonkeyGirl17844 0

Monday 8 August 2011 18:04

Replace the locks and ground him for a couple monthes!

GamerMatt97 0

Monday 8 August 2011 18:05

Change locks and call the cops

sociology 0

Monday 8 August 2011 18:18

yay what u gonna say to the cops? my son traded keys to my house for gum come on I bet it wasn't even gum

mini01_fml 0

Monday 8 August 2011 18:06

lmao.!!

sociology 0

Monday 8 August 2011 18:15

just change the locks

KGabehart9 0

Monday 8 August 2011 18:35

By the way, thanks for the key dude! See you tonight "mom"

robberry 11

Monday 8 August 2011 18:38

The kid who negotiated your house for a piece of gum should become a lawyer or a stock broker!

KGabehart9 0

Monday 8 August 2011 18:38

By the way, thanks for the key dude! See you tonight "mom"

itouchuser77 8

Monday 8 August 2011 18:39

Easy solution murder your son... or change the locks...

Simpson143 2

Monday 8 August 2011 18:46

I hope your son at least shared his gum with you!

jb5794 1

Monday 8 August 2011 18:48

good luck with that:D

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 577

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

The Top

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 841

You deserved it 4 118

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 329

You deserved it 3 248

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 924

You deserved it 44 308

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 600

Today, I was told that I wasn't "long-term material" by a guy who has the words "white trash" tattooed across his knuckles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 283

You deserved it 2 304

Today, my neighbor tried to shoot my dog but missed and hit a rock. A shard of the bullet hit me in the leg and fractured my shin. Hello from the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 528

You deserved it 645