Love: Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a...

By markderanjer - 04/11/2012 00:37 - United Kingdom - Ealing

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 124

You deserved it 3 424

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By fianceeless - 21/01/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 626

You deserved it 3 933

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 423

You deserved it 3 775

By Anonymous - 15/04/2013 02:11 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 465

You deserved it 6 274

By Anonymous - 05/04/2013 22:58 - Israel - Netanya

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 553

You deserved it 3 864

By joking0303 - 16/07/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 136

You deserved it 6 469

By B-Rad - 15/11/2012 05:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 134

You deserved it 2 430

By Anonymous - 06/02/2015 20:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 283

You deserved it 2 667

Globehead

By yikes - 07/03/2023 10:00

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 20:08 - United States

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 3 483

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 21:29 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 927

You deserved it 3 565

alexlovescandy 3

Sunday 4 November 2012 5:36

What a terrible excuse for a girlfriend.

Screwie 25

Sunday 4 November 2012 5:37

I believe and predict that she will get aids - I don't even need to be a genius to know that. Oh, and she will end up single pretty soon too.

Comments

Jag_v 7

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:07

Sounds like superstition is an lame excuse

Marrach 7

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:12

Don't you mean Ex-Girlfriend..

Enslaved 36

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:32

Leap years should have stopped people from still believing in that rubbish!

DarthVader77 9

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:33

It is FYL, feel for you man! At the same time she is funny. Dump her and enjoy you personelend of the world "preparations" ;)

catchbigtuna 0

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:36

It's just shows how dumb you are

prettygiirl13 3

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:43

She needs to be your "ex-girlfriend"

littlehollycocks 0

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:44

I hope you use this as an excuse to ALSO sleep around with other women & see how SHE likes it ;)

culito_fml 10

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:51

I hope you mean "you're dumbass ex-girlfriend"

annie_nk 22

Sunday 4 November 2012 7:54

*your

newburton13 26

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:52

And in a month and a half, you'll be laughing at her STD record.

andrew6p 19

Sunday 4 November 2012 7:01

Dump that hoe!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

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Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

The Top

Today, despite being hearing impaired, I just spent an hour on the phone with Comcast setting up my mom's internet, because my sister who hears fine is "too busy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 84

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 858

You deserved it 2 255

Today, my biology teacher asked the class a question, so I raised my hand and after I gave my answer, my teacher said, "You know, you have a voice for radio. It's very deep." I replied with "Do I? Thanks!" He added, "You also have the face for radio." The whole class laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 315

You deserved it 596

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 059

You deserved it 2 920

Today, I confirmed just how excluded I am by my very few friends. My messages in the group chat were completely ignored, yet another person was answered by multiple people within minutes. At least solitude can't let me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 109

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 041

You deserved it 3 694

Same thing different taste

Globehead

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