Intimacy: Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from...

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By KaraAnn17 - 12/02/2011 16:29 - United States

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 354

You deserved it 3 550

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 3 380

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 196

You deserved it 2 076

Involuntary

By hannahthedino - 20/07/2021 04:01 - United States

Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 138

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 4 728

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 625

You deserved it 2 815

One night stand

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 02:12 - Canada

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 17 640

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 295

By chacha - 28/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 566

You deserved it 5 536

It's not the size that counts

By Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 591

You deserved it 24 351

Bobby64 29

Saturday 12 February 2011 22:24

People on FML sure have great friends and roommates. :/ Yuck.

iburppeopleup 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 22:32

just do the same to her, or pull another awful thing like mix bleach in her shampoo, fill her body wash or shampoo with nair... get revenge bitch!

Comments

goldfish78 11

Sunday 13 February 2011 3:23

put some glue on your pillow next time.

Decodedman 1

Sunday 13 February 2011 6:09

#14 Nah. Empty out their Ultraglide and substitute that hand sanitizer gel.

VioletRayOfSunsh 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 4:01

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Peasanthunter_fml 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 4:03

First!

rockinroyalty 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 3:45

that's for being a 2timer

hellogoodbye1996 6

Sunday 13 February 2011 6:25

not prude how about using the correct term.

Misumi09 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 4:11

LMAO ! Gross ! >.<

meowmeowwkitty 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 4:58

YUCK!

southerngalslove 15

Sunday 13 February 2011 5:46

WTF? Why would your drool have been white? I thought it'd be clear..???

guy0ne101 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 5:48

cool story bro

DaleksAreEpic 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 8:06

No shit, Sherlock.

Atishuh 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 8:31

#23 You dumbass. XD And looks like someones gonna have wet dreams tonight.

Cass3m0 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 6:20

I think if it was drool, there'd be some on your face in the morning, no?

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