Intimacy: Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from...

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By KaraAnn17 - 12/02/2011 16:29 - United States

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 354

You deserved it 3 550

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 3 380

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 196

You deserved it 2 076

Involuntary

By hannahthedino - 20/07/2021 04:01 - United States

Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 138

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 4 728

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 626

You deserved it 2 815

One night stand

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 02:12 - Canada

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 17 640

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 295

By chacha - 28/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 567

You deserved it 5 536

It's not the size that counts

By Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 591

You deserved it 24 351

Bobby64 29

Saturday 12 February 2011 22:24

People on FML sure have great friends and roommates. :/ Yuck.

iburppeopleup 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 22:32

just do the same to her, or pull another awful thing like mix bleach in her shampoo, fill her body wash or shampoo with nair... get revenge bitch!

Comments

OhFiona1 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:48

Wow, that is gross.

sallen0046 4

Sunday 13 February 2011 18:27

If your bedding and pillows have visible stains on them, you need to wash them more frequently no matter who those stains belong to.

dudehaha 4

Sunday 13 February 2011 18:34

it's called sex -not intercourse. that's why you haven't had it.

Shadow_Phantom 26

Sunday 13 February 2011 19:57

Actually, that's correct terminology, and don't judge people by what they say~ @OP: That's sick and wrong...

cjlerch 29

Wednesday 8 January 2014 0:04

"Sex" is a slang term. The proper term is "Sexual Intercourse," hence "Sex" and "Intercourse."

dvl2035 10

Sunday 13 February 2011 20:02

hahaha u het **** in the mouth every night..

Jonkbaby 22

Monday 14 February 2011 11:53

its kinda hot

PhillyFox 0

Monday 14 February 2011 22:44

Smother her with it.

JosieBongs 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:16

That's ok. I would piss on her entire bed. ENTIRE bed.

claireful 4

Tuesday 10 May 2011 7:03

you would have to drink A LOT of water....

RichardRocks 3

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:50

I agree. that sucks. not for ur roommate though.

yungking2013 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:59

Yo I would have kicked that ass

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Sunday 20 February 2011 1:54

OMG. that's just awkward

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 64

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I agree, your life sucks 58 061

You deserved it 3 333

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You deserved it 587

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I agree, your life sucks 13 973

You deserved it 36 394

Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 869

You deserved it 771

Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 502

You deserved it 3 942