Intimacy: Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going...

By fmylifebigtime - 25/02/2012 14:35 - United States

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 594

You deserved it 3 485

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Same thing different taste

By guest - 01/04/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 146

You deserved it 6 674

By ohno - 25/03/2012 13:11 - United States - East Stroudsburg

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 751

You deserved it 2 963

Tempted?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 00:02

Today, I found out that my prude wife, who has given up on anything remotely sexually exciting, has been researching swinger clubs. I found out when she “accidentally” texted me a Vice article on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 148

Planning

By stargate25 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 268

You deserved it 11 967

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 19:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 097

You deserved it 6 385

By unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 240

You deserved it 5 058

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 836

You deserved it 7 999

By imatool - 27/07/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, I learned that my wife had an affair with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 823

You deserved it 4 829

By Jason199615 - 17/04/2012 18:11 - United States - Marshfield

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 394

You deserved it 2 725

marthagayo 14

Saturday 25 February 2012 19:29

Well, you should give up monogamy!!

AmethystRain 20

Saturday 25 February 2012 19:32

Leave a list laying around for her to find, and make the first item: "marriage".

Comments

momo1972 3

Sunday 26 February 2012 19:41

Not to time to give up antibiotics

trevino180 4

Sunday 26 February 2012 22:32

Well u can give up not cheating on your wife

Leadamp 7

Sunday 26 February 2012 23:20

You must be so proud of her.

peaches2793 0

Monday 27 February 2012 4:46

Woah... Make a list like that too and show her how it feels :p

dapoet83 0

Monday 27 February 2012 6:47

Wow

MeB4u 0

Monday 27 February 2012 14:48

Can't turn a hoe into a housewife, hoes don't act right.

pfclunchbox005 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:16

Go have sex with all the girls you want now. Clear your bank accounts. Put things in your name. An leve that bitch

76transam 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:12

You should tell her "Honey i think we should see other vag... People!"

mssgee21 2

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:17

i bet he didn't dump her either

user12345678901 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:39

Give her up for lent.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, after having surgery, I called my family to tell them I was out, safe, and on my way home. The first thing they asked was if they could "borrow" some of my pain meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 789

You deserved it 226

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 252

You deserved it 8 948

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 339

You deserved it 2 637

Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 127

Today, I was at my friend's house and accidentally blew out a candle that was supposed to be lit for seven days straight. It was in honor of her grandmother who had recently died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 761

You deserved it 14 784

Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 806

Same thing different taste

Tempted?

Planning

Permission granted and rejected

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