Intimacy: Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going... - FML

By fmylifebigtime - 25/02/2012 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 594

You deserved it 3 485

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Same thing different taste

By guest - 01/04/2011 21:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 146

You deserved it 6 674

By ohno - 25/03/2012 13:11 - United States - East Stroudsburg

Spicy

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 751

You deserved it 2 963

Tempted?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 00:02

Spicy

Today, I found out that my prude wife, who has given up on anything remotely sexually exciting, has been researching swinger clubs. I found out when she “accidentally” texted me a Vice article on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 148

Planning

By stargate25 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 268

You deserved it 11 967

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 19:22 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 097

You deserved it 6 385

By unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 240

You deserved it 5 058

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 836

You deserved it 7 999

By imatool - 27/07/2009 17:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my wife had an affair with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 823

You deserved it 4 829

By Jason199615 - 17/04/2012 18:11 - United States - Marshfield

Spicy

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 394

You deserved it 2 725

Next

Top comments

marthagayo 14

Saturday 25 February 2012 19:29

Well, you should give up monogamy!!

AmethystRain 20

Saturday 25 February 2012 19:32

Leave a list laying around for her to find, and make the first item: "marriage".

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 26 February 2012 4:30

Lol.

G4m3rChick 0

Sunday 26 February 2012 5:01

Ex-wife*

iamg 1

Sunday 26 February 2012 5:07

Damn, thats erotic, can i see what she looks like?

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 26 February 2012 5:08

"Sundays don't count."

jmgymnast11 0

Sunday 26 February 2012 6:33

ouch

wegetrz 14

Sunday 26 February 2012 8:47

So your ho for a wife is more dedicated to sacrificing adultery for lent, rather than keeping her marriage vows.

Argenisjose 9

Sunday 26 February 2012 8:55

Damn your wife is a H.O.E. get tested for STDs op.

br0ccoli 14

Sunday 26 February 2012 9:06

She was initially a one night stand before you put a ring on it right? The dried semen on her chastity belt with a hole cut into it should have tipped you off. There are always signs.

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Sunday 26 February 2012 9:52

Your wife is a ******* *****. You should file for Divorce...soon.

arkid24 1

Sunday 26 February 2012 11:32

Time to find a new bitch to make your sandwiches. One a little less used and abused.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 537

You deserved it 10 056

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then told me that yes, he's cheating on me, that he's dumping me, and that I'm fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 177

You deserved it 6 590

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 981

You deserved it 25 512

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 982

You deserved it 2 901

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today, but he had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can see if he can go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 056

You deserved it 2 527

Today, I got home and I saw my dad come out of the kitchen in a red silk hood. I had no idea what the hell he was doing, until I went inside and heard him upstairs say to mum, “Oh my grandma, what a big mouth you have.” Hell of a way to discover your parents like roleplay in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 244

Today, a customer complained that one of our cashiers smiles too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 731

You deserved it 809