Intimacy: Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came....

By snortingspunk - 03/12/2015 12:52 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 461

You deserved it 4 135

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Same thing different taste

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 234

You deserved it 3 202

Bad timing

By Proprepourtant - 16/04/2011 11:28 - France

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 953

You deserved it 12 579

By sneezeattack - 14/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 027

You deserved it 4 319

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 115

You deserved it 3 501

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 9 136

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 1 345

Our anniversary

By Anonymous - 27/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 501

You deserved it 509

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 045

You deserved it 18 791

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 444

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 677

You deserved it 12 202

ComoEsJuan 24

Thursday 3 December 2015 18:25

That's snot good.

UnidentifiedFun 37

Thursday 3 December 2015 18:29

Upon reading this FML I think I cringed harder than I ever have in my entire life. Fyl

Comments

sdlr32787 18

Thursday 3 December 2015 23:23

White Dragon!!!

SunshineBoy_fml 16

Thursday 3 December 2015 23:32

that wouldn't have been nice...

Aspirax 13

Friday 4 December 2015 0:08

Impressive

fmlforreal2015 20

Friday 4 December 2015 0:25

That's what I call a fire breathing dragon ;) but that really sucks op fyl

9a_1z 12

Friday 4 December 2015 0:27

Now I feel bad for relentlessly mocking my partner for thinking he had come so hard it had shot out my nose. Really it had just landed on it, I didn't realise it was actually possible!

Witchylady 17

Friday 4 December 2015 0:50

I guess he enjoyed it a little too much.

daveshira 3

Friday 4 December 2015 0:53

Take it as a compliment. It means you did good

LonelyCoyote 3

Friday 4 December 2015 0:55

He should have warned you... And you can pull off at the last minute if you want :) the way I see it if you are willing to put his penis in your mouth you make the rules! There is always next time ;)