Intimacy: Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came....

By snortingspunk - 03/12/2015 12:52 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 461

You deserved it 4 135

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Same thing different taste

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 234

You deserved it 3 202

Bad timing

By Proprepourtant - 16/04/2011 11:28 - France

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 953

You deserved it 12 579

By sneezeattack - 14/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 027

You deserved it 4 319

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 115

You deserved it 3 501

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 9 136

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 1 345

Our anniversary

By Anonymous - 27/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 501

You deserved it 509

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 045

You deserved it 18 791

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 444

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 677

You deserved it 12 202

ComoEsJuan 24

Thursday 3 December 2015 18:25

That's snot good.

UnidentifiedFun 37

Thursday 3 December 2015 18:29

Upon reading this FML I think I cringed harder than I ever have in my entire life. Fyl

Comments

tbangazak3 7

Saturday 2 January 2016 9:11

Good job!

tin_cup 27

Wednesday 6 January 2016 9:36

Love your user name. Careful you don't becum a dicked

gohaz933 9

Sunday 24 January 2016 14:50

Quite a sticky situation you got there

MadeUpUsername 13

Saturday 20 February 2016 4:59

I feel third party embarrassment for you.

kitty_Kat777 10

Tuesday 23 February 2016 15:24

I literally did that and my nose started bleeding so bad I had to go to the hospital

hipyg123 6

Wednesday 23 March 2016 4:52

That's called an angry dragon. You're welcome.

MissxMiDNiTE 10

Wednesday 6 April 2016 4:40

That sounds very similar to a "cum walrus" xD

Cavsfodawin 21

Saturday 25 June 2016 18:46

This is the second hardest i have ever cringed. The first hardest was while i was browsing memes, and i saw a gif of someone putting a piece of paper in the tip of their dick and sliding it really fast. I hsd sympathy dick pains.