Miscellaneous: Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5... - FML

By EdgardoP - 26/06/2012 15:08 - United States - Allentown

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 317

You deserved it 3 535

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Same thing different taste

By t - 17/05/2011 03:26

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 768

You deserved it 6 160

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 930

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 442

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 937

You deserved it 44 865

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 768

You deserved it 6 169

Baywatched out

By Username - 01/09/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 753

You deserved it 10 039

By fat teen - 05/06/2016 23:33 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 526

You deserved it 2 332

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 508

Baywatch

By Jenn - 16/12/2016 00:50

Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 230

You deserved it 839

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 161

You deserved it 1 820

Next

Top comments

BigBoyBounce 5

Tuesday 26 June 2012 18:54

The only thing i could thonk of when i read this was Patrick Star.

saintsrocksocks 10

Tuesday 26 June 2012 18:55

Lol AHHHH BUT CRAMP. -Patrick Star

Comments

cordelay98 10

Thursday 28 June 2012 8:03

You're supposed to wait an HOUR before swimming!!!!!!

e30scott 0

Thursday 28 June 2012 9:29

Quit being such a pussy

ashguy18 0

Thursday 28 June 2012 13:42

Well ur cramp couldn't have been that bad if u could watch him flirt for 5 minutes... Just saying.

bwzwally8 15

Friday 29 June 2012 11:06

who gets cramps while swimming? lol

doodz_fml 5

Saturday 30 June 2012 8:06

Pretty impressive that you were able to tread water for five full minutes and not manage to get to the shallow end :p

Ginkle45 1

Sunday 1 July 2012 5:28

A cramp?! Really? You're pathetic

89DaniMarie 2

Sunday 1 July 2012 9:01

Considering the fact that you managed to not die in the 5 minutes it took the lifeguard to save you... I think it's safe to assume that you weren't in great danger and that you are being a tad dramatic

MTZ8590 4

Monday 2 July 2012 8:50

I SMELL A LAWSUIT!

violetwonder 9

Wednesday 4 July 2012 15:57

Sue sue sue! You must have witnesses

sophiehelen 32

Sunday 23 November 2014 13:10

Report him. He could get fired for that seeing as his job is to help people

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The Top

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting… friendly. Three feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 774

You deserved it 4 848

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

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You deserved it 28 397

The Top

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You deserved it 3 560

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I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 154

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I agree, your life sucks 22 074

You deserved it 2 587

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I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 134

Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 779

You deserved it 1 386

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 769

You deserved it 19 620