Intimacy: Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife....

By PapaW - 01/11/2013 07:01 - United States - Lehi

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 513

You deserved it 7 111

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Same thing different taste

By Nav - 16/06/2019 22:00

Today, I sent a sexy text to my husband while he waited for a flight home at the airport. This was his response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 770

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 512

You deserved it 4 226

By ashlee - 31/08/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 503

You deserved it 4 654

Unknown number

By Whoisshe - 17/01/2020 01:00

Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 425

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 889

You deserved it 11 602

Lonely, so lonely…

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 02:00

Today, to get my mind off being single, I texted some friends. The first one was going out tonight to work things out with her ex, the second told me about his amazing new girlfriend, and the third replied an hour later with, "Sorry, I was having sex when you texted me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 274

You deserved it 276

Sorry Noah

By pummy - 30/09/2009 00:48 - United States

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number, I wanted to mess with my girlfriend a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 248

You deserved it 33 981

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 6 427

By ChopSuey - 01/06/2016 04:02 - United States - West Monroe

Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 912

You deserved it 1 626

Play that Blink 182 song

By Mommys boy - 16/08/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize that said, "I miss you." Assuming it was my mom and her new phone, I replied, "Miss you too, love you!" Turns out it was my new boss, checking to see if I’d be able to work an extra shift. Even though it was her text that was badly worded, I'm now known as the person who declared her love to the boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 380

grumpy94533 11

Friday 1 November 2013 12:12

:( ouch. Sorry

micha090 21

Friday 1 November 2013 12:13

Dump the bitch OP. You deserve better.

Comments

legalizenow 16

Friday 1 November 2013 20:45

Divorce.

codlover23 6

Friday 1 November 2013 20:48

I would just not even come home

sosoram 23

Friday 1 November 2013 20:54

that's when you pretend it's a wrong #, apologize then leave work and go home after stopping at the gun shop of course.

nicopo_fml 11

Friday 1 November 2013 21:21

I see you're from Utah, so this is an easy one. Just let THIS wife go away with that guy. I mean you still have like 3-4 more wives to choose from right?