Miscellaneous: Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the...

By twoheadedboy - 06/05/2009 20:46 - Canada

Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 565

You deserved it 5 015

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Same thing different taste

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 734

You deserved it 6 071

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 274

You deserved it 12 024

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 196

You deserved it 8 972

By bobuhbeartoe - 24/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 854

You deserved it 19 994

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 662

You deserved it 8 343

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 335

You deserved it 2 191

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 741

You deserved it 3 363

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 46 030

Things hate me

By WaychulMonster - 25/10/2022 10:00

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 108

Life is just great

By someone something - 27/11/2024 21:00 - United States - Acton

Today, I was taking a shower. Having epilepsy, I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and smashed my face against an open toilet, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 69

Kamazar 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:38

I think the story on how you got industrial toilet cleaner in your eyes would make a better FML ;)

mf_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:41

"raging fire party"!!!! i... i think i love you.

Comments

ryuukunn 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 19:00

not_kidding 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 6:25

very good use of the word "therein". impeccably written.

atomicbaboon 0

Monday 25 April 2011 8:31

well, at least you hit your head full force. I wouldn't want you to half-ass it.

Torialovesya 0

Monday 5 September 2011 20:40

How the **** did you get it in your eyes?

fuzzybear14 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:41

how? exactly?

DanielT1994 19

Tuesday 8 May 2012 6:09

That sucks, but good on you for showing some discipline.

XTheGiftedGametX 0

Tuesday 14 August 2012 3:06

Hnng, ouch. I could feel that happening. Owww

Ugi 26

Friday 4 January 2013 17:33

Shit! I hope your eyes are OK! That stuff is often sulphuric acid, which is no fun at all.

justindrew14 29

Sunday 25 August 2013 4:54

sorry op that sucks but this made me laugh so hard sorry though

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 135

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 715

The Top

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 206

You deserved it 8 741

Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 982

You deserved it 292

Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 455

You deserved it 1 733

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 074

You deserved it 4 647

Today, I was hired as a student assistant. I was excited, until I learned on my very first day that "Supporting the academic staff in their research" actually meant walking the professor's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 426

You deserved it 1 430

Today, my work is doing a legal investigation about whether they can avoid paying me maternity benefit. According to my sleazy boss, "You notified us too late." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 017

You deserved it 295