Love: Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because...

By Anonymous - 26/05/2015 15:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 820

You deserved it 2 927

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By James - 26/08/2011 18:29 - Canada

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 634

You deserved it 3 706

By Anonymous - 31/05/2015 20:36 - United States - Temecula

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 762

You deserved it 6 083

By blondetergent - 20/06/2011 08:12 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 917

You deserved it 15 346

By Anonymous - 10/12/2015 05:29 - Australia - Perth

Today, while working as a barista, a customer asked me for "gluten free milk". When I told her that most milk is gluten free, she flew into a fit of rage and cussed me out for being a "cheeky bitch". My manager then lectured me about not being "patronising" to customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 671

You deserved it 2 718

By crapedup - 10/10/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 051

You deserved it 3 077

By longing for emancipation - 30/04/2016 03:09 - United States - Mitchell

Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 746

You deserved it 1 321

By uncleaning - 22/07/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 589

You deserved it 4 599

By and she doesn't even give bjs - 09/02/2013 00:44 - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 260

You deserved it 5 237

By Colby - 15/11/2013 16:59 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 614

You deserved it 3 766

By WTF - 09/06/2012 13:54 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 787

You deserved it 2 213

Nadron 21

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:37

"May thy milk be blessed for thy thirst." Amen.

fakedsincerity 32

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:38

Oh dear. Tell her to do some Google research. Also have a milk related joke: Why is milk the fastest food? Because it's pasteurised before you see it.

Comments

Dean__Winchester 16

Thursday 28 May 2015 9:22

Is she best friends with the Photosynthesis lady? anyone remember that FML on this one girl saying her new diet is basically like photosynthesis or something?

Eco93 10

Thursday 28 May 2015 14:15

dump her dude why the hell would anybody waste time on that

RealSuperSand 21

Thursday 28 May 2015 17:57

Wow. She went full retard. You never go full retard. Either get a vasectomy or break up with her, because the last thing you want to do is get that dumb bitch pregnant.