Animals: Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt...

By richardmrcs - 08/07/2013 20:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 123

You deserved it 7 092

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Same thing different taste

By N1ch0la1 - 08/08/2009 09:35 - South Africa

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 212

You deserved it 2 976

So painful

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 03:00

Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 567

You deserved it 440

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 134

By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 854

You deserved it 4 625

By Angela - 04/01/2012 19:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 552

You deserved it 5 587

What the Duck?

By duckyou - 02/04/2018 01:30

Today, on the way to class, I got distracted while watching some ducks and walked face-first into a concrete pole. I ended up with a black eye and three stitches. Even the nurse laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 652

You deserved it 1 373

By Anonymous - 19/10/2016 10:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 438

You deserved it 2 492

Welcome home!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 142

Boom!

By Elizabeth Ann - 12/07/2020 08:01

Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 183

By alex - 16/02/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 118

You deserved it 32 910

DjMonroe95 11

Tuesday 9 July 2013 0:44

I bet the cat got your tongue after that one.

Snowkeys 11

Tuesday 9 July 2013 0:45

You gotta be kitten me. Did you fall on a box of angry abandoned kittens?

Comments

tigrouficele2012 44

Tuesday 9 July 2013 2:05

That's why you declaw.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 9 July 2013 18:54

or learn how to deal with kittens in a way that doesn't require mutilation.

babeababe 16

Tuesday 9 July 2013 2:20

Was it on a caturday?

OddShoeLaces 13

Tuesday 9 July 2013 2:33

This sounds adorable. But fyl, must be sore!

megnog 11

Tuesday 9 July 2013 2:38

It seems, OP, that YOU are the ultimate pussy in this situation.

keverdeen 14

Tuesday 9 July 2013 2:40

Wild kittens are scary! I know from experience. One of my cats that lived outside most of the time decided to have her kittens underneath the house so they didn't have human contact like her other litters and they were not docile at all. Once they were a little older and ventured out my sister tried to pick one up and it clawed her up her arm pretty bad! Don't be too ashamed OP :) wild kittens are violent! Hahaha

strike2867 13

Tuesday 9 July 2013 3:57

It really depends how old they are. Once they gain some weight, then yes their hind claws could get some strength. Personally I doubt I would go get stitches, much less tell anybody what actually happened.

kat_a_tak 18

Tuesday 9 July 2013 18:31

@ 53 - i fully agree! i once tried to befriend some feral barn kittens. they were so adorable, but they really didn't like people and let me know it with their razor-sharp claws. i'm lucky i didn't end up with stitches.