Intimacy: Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt...

By southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 948

You deserved it 10 651

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Same thing different taste

Nasty

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 524

You deserved it 5 891

Traumatized knob

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 005

You deserved it 4 617

Hott

By purple - 24/03/2012 05:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 180

You deserved it 12 413

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 304

RIP Beard

By captain patch beard - 03/10/2019 18:01

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 121

You deserved it 442

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 18 790

By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 411

You deserved it 5 234

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 9 421

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 120

You deserved it 13 417

shadowgamer_x 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:05

What a hairy situation. At least this wasn't in pubelic!

Althenias 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:04

try shaving, problem solved

Comments

Maximus_Axiom 7

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:04

welcome to the favorites :) suck it up princess

DjeePee 24

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:04

To avoid that every guy shaves off his pubes: some girls do find them sexy. Like me. Nothing wrong with trimming though, but completely bald? Naah, that's not my taste. OP, YDI. Now you might even have to deal with the fact that she will be disappointed if you don't cry, because that means she's not that good anymore. Being honest, that's a keyword in a relationship. (This should be in reply to 52)

poweredbyparamor 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:08

pussy! it doesnt hurt half that bad that you would need to start crying

nickk55 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:10

Actually lol'd

icic6772 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:20

Smooth

whitey317 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:21

If your a carpet then I'm guessing that was a hooker... Shave that shit

HushHushKeeKat 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:21

Dude... I'm imagining this guy having a tiny, delicate penis nestled inside a forest of gigantic, five-inch-long, wiry pubes.

moleSG 6

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:28

YDI, just tell her. Who knows, she might take that as advice and start accidentally yanking out others as well..

DennisC1975 4

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:34

Shh, don't tell anyone, please?

tjsomethin 9

Monday 5 September 2011 0:05

I think it's pretty dumb that you call someone a 30 year old virgin and then make a random homosexual comment. Especially because you're 36 and you look like a fat asshole.

DennisC1975 4

Monday 5 September 2011 4:39

It's my hand, hi is that gay? Now if I sucked my own **** that is debatable. And what does me being fat have anything to do with anything, in 36 years I have heard every fat comment you can dish out, It doesn't faze me in the least. I have been a correctional officer for 10 years and any fat comment you can think of will never challenge a convicts mind, need I say more on that subject?