Health: Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger,...

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By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 017

You deserved it 30 885

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 506

You deserved it 24 725

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 809

You deserved it 71 747

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 953

You deserved it 3 989

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 14:00 - Malaysia

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 141

You deserved it 3 143

By rhartnett11 - 16/02/2011 12:56

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 691

You deserved it 41 202

By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 17:57 - Denmark

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 425

You deserved it 3 276

How many cans did I have last night?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 19:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 423

By fmlgirl - 09/05/2014 18:44 - Netherlands - Hulst

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 033

You deserved it 3 905

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 6 967

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 9 392

RahmEsHestos 5

Saturday 25 February 2012 22:59

You don't play video games? Other than that, why not take your girlfriend out somewhere?

kimmi41509 10

Saturday 25 February 2012 23:03

Damn, how tight did you tie that string to rupture a blood vessel? The pain and loss of circulation wasn't any indication first?

Comments

Sports_girl03 4

Sunday 26 February 2012 0:42

What was your cover story...?

Killerturtle 11

Sunday 26 February 2012 0:53

I don't know if you have noticed. But this isn't twitter.

Akharr01 5

Sunday 26 February 2012 0:54

She should understand the real reason

holholmikan 11

Sunday 26 February 2012 1:07

How do you even have a girlfriend? :P

GoW_Chick 14

Sunday 26 February 2012 1:13

Boredom can be a very dangerous thing.

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 26 February 2012 4:20

Definitely. Ridiculousness has shown us lol.

l0v3p4in 7

Sunday 26 February 2012 4:31

Boredom + Stupidity = Medical Job Security Keep up the good work people! Ya'll are keeping me employed. Thank you. :)

HendricksProdigy 0

Sunday 26 February 2012 6:02

So is showing ur **** in a profile pic # 63

Awsumuzzie 12

Sunday 26 February 2012 6:37

83 can use x ray vision on pictures!? I'm jealous.

nvicious 12

Sunday 26 February 2012 1:29

Imagine if he had tried to 'guillotine' it, oh the stupidity. And also the agony, naturally.

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 26 February 2012 1:30

Who screams from rupturing a bloodvessle? I may just have a higher pain tolerance than most, and please tell me so if that seems the case, but that happened to me once and it barely hurt

l0v3p4in 7

Sunday 26 February 2012 5:22

It definitely depends on the blood vessel. It appears OP's was right there in the midst of a bundle of nerve endings. Either that or he was just weak. . .