Miscellaneous: Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to...

By fuck you with a bacon cock - 04/04/2014 22:07 - United Kingdom - Forres

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 323

You deserved it 3 513

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Same thing different taste

By fuckedbyahipster - 15/06/2013 16:13 - Finland

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 739

You deserved it 2 891

Go vegan

By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 88

Hypocrisy

By Anonymous - 02/05/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 212

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 564

You deserved it 4 180

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 17 497

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 21:31 - United States

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 907

You deserved it 5 024

Go vegan!

By Sad wife - 17/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of me "forgetting" to buy meat and animal products, my husband asked to talk. I was hoping he was getting the hints that I wanted us to go vegan. He wanted me to get checked for early-onset dementia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 634

One step beyond

By Go vegan! - 06/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 305

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 144

Kitchen nightmare

By McDonald's it is then - 30/05/2023 10:00

Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 137

asapp78 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 4:56

Nothing to see here folks! Nothing to see...

Le_Doctor 10

Saturday 5 April 2014 4:59

Never got how people are vegan... I mean you're getting rid of bacon!

Comments

8born8 18

Monday 7 April 2014 2:29

Sounds like your housemate needs a turkey slap.

tharpe_09 8

Monday 7 April 2014 23:39

Cute and cuddly boys, cute and cuddly

Mpadam12 5

Wednesday 9 April 2014 9:02

Bacon ****. Haha.

jinshenlu 8

Wednesday 9 April 2014 21:12

He's been eating meat everyday. While you been threaten for eating. Go get him man. That's wrong.

LCPLStewie 23

Friday 18 April 2014 10:09

Sleep walk this bitch! (throws cold frozen turkey at face)

Baconhiro 1

Thursday 10 April 2014 18:27

How is this even a FML? Now you have all the ammo you need to get back at this douche. Start calling him "The Turkey-Vegan" or make "gobble gobble" noises whenever he starts getting preachy. Owned. F his life from now on...