Work: Today, I had an accident at work. Not the kind involving worker's...

By shart - 09/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had an accident at work. Not the kind involving worker's compensation. The kind involving desperately scrubbing my office chair with paper towels, before going home to change my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 549

You deserved it 2 289

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Same thing different taste

Pushing the envelope

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 180

By no name - 22/06/2013 07:20 - United States - Gaylord

Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 763

You deserved it 3 836

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 021

You deserved it 5 403

Slippery when oiled

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 12:00

Today, as I walked with a coworker to my office through a gas station, I slid on some oil and fell right on my ass. He helped by holding my lunch. My jeans are ruined and I'm too broke to buy a new pair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 112

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 193

By gmian - 06/12/2015 05:06 - United States - Amherst

Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 381

You deserved it 11 013

By embarrassed - 20/12/2010 14:51 - United States

Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 050

You deserved it 6 565

By mmckie - 11/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 441

By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 831

You deserved it 2 960

Ripper

By Pantess at work - 30/03/2021 16:00 - United States

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 150

trellz17 19

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:04

That's one of my worst fears, I hope not too many people noticed.

mld4657 28

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

well shit.. oh you already did..

Comments

HrothgarXII 21

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:01

Ooooh no And eeeeew no

madgodvw 7

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:02

Heh, u peed urself

trellz17 19

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

He wishes he did.

Kieranr10 23

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:02

Look on the bright side, at least your not injured.

v4valour 15

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:04

Tell his confidence that

freyday 18

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:02

Oh my gosh, that's so shitty

v4valour 15

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

Are you a musician? Because it seems you hit the brown note

mld4657 28

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

well shit.. oh you already did..

Swandive235 27

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

Stop the puns everyone, and that must've sucked big time. I hope you didn't make a huge deal out of it, and few people noticed.

hacksaw246 24

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:03

You just had to go there didn't you?

trellz17 19

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:04

That's one of my worst fears, I hope not too many people noticed.

Adeptus_Astartes 22

Wednesday 9 March 2016 18:06

What have you done! These puns have been forbidden by the prophets, you have surely doomed us all!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 263

You deserved it 4 813

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 513

You deserved it 5 324

The Top

Today, my now ex-boyfriend accused me of wanting to screw his 11-year-old brother, all because I expressed interest in going to his birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 149

You deserved it 1 652

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 3 696

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 352

You deserved it 12 164

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 047

You deserved it 7 026

Today, after getting home from shopping, I noticed a security tag was still on one of the shirts I bought. I decided to take it back and ask them to remove the tag. They then accused me of trying to steal (even after I showed them the receipt) and kicked me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 157

You deserved it 584

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 963

You deserved it 4 787

Same thing different taste

Pushing the envelope

Slippery when oiled

Bustin' my ass

Ripper

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