Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 924

You deserved it 798 797

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 876

You deserved it 8 704

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 179

You deserved it 10 863

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 019

You deserved it 639

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 590

You deserved it 9 943

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 186

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 627

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 89 256

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 796

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

ImOnlySleeping_G 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:38

wait, so are you a dad now?

hilhal 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 22:28

bizzzzayyy I hope you go to hell. for saying that you would murder a baby. rot in hell

CinnaMa 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 5:44

#1109 fuccin idiot.!. mornin after pill ne one?!?

grampa_pubes666 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 10:41

possiblity of baby and sexually transmitted disease?! I hope both fir you :] and pulling out works dip *****. I'm living proof. ha. ha.

pokewolfey 6

Sunday 3 January 2010 17:54

pokewolfey 6

Sunday 3 January 2010 18:00

hey, think about it; maybe she'll be too hungover in the morning that she won't remember the baby's daddy. and if she calls you or sees you anywhere, and says you got her pregnant, say you have no idea who she is and don't EVER take a DNA test! good luck

trishay 0

Monday 4 January 2010 21:12

Don't worry, most sperm don't make it there. :) All of your swimmers could be tired and/or dead.

RC3Welly 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 6:50

So I can't believe my shitty night turned into the most commented FML post of all time... thanks for all the advice and the "you're an idiot" comments... I know, I was a complete moron, but life lessons are learned through mistakes.. anyway become a fan of the this FML on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=be+my+baby%27s+daddy&init=quick#/pages/BE-MY-BABYS-DADDY-The-best-FML-of-all-time/268052971814?ref=search&sid=666566148.554133297..1