Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't... - FML

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

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It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636 841

You deserved it 798 622

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 868

You deserved it 8 700

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 003

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 580

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 314

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 239

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Spicy

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 776

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 820

You deserved it 13 042

Next

Top comments

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

Peachy18 0

Monday 14 March 2011 20:57

Bahahahahaaaa. She pregnant?

littleburt7 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:51

I would force her to swallow a day after pill

ukrichu 14

Wednesday 16 March 2011 22:08

Dang... Now you have to be a dad '-_-

rockstaraholic 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 1:03

so is she pg

Shivverr 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 6:35

1066 LOL Win! I'm watching Van Wilder right now.

quin01 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 0:50

after ur finnished reach in her pussy and grab the little guys before its to late

brdbdw465 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:18

lookes like we'll wait and see :)

nmitche95 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 6:46

so how's the baby

EnjoiiGiirllz 0

Friday 25 March 2011 11:39

so how old is the kid now? lol

saturnsonic 3

Friday 25 March 2011 20:39

I Wish that would happen to me!!

Keywords

AITA Awkward Embarrassing Love Drunk Weddings Sex Intimacy Work Party Miscellaneous Shopping Landlords My ex Cute Family Poopoo peepee Vacation Roommate Weird Transportation Cars Accident Cancer Ironic Relatable Proposal Bosses Empathy Furniture

The Top

Today, the man of my dreams who I met online and have been exchanging messages with day and night for weeks asked the dreaded question: “Can you send me a full body pic?” It’s been 5 years since I had a guy hit me up. I weigh 300 lbs and look like a potato with legs. I don’t wanna lose him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 1 061

Today, a woman I didn’t know swung at me in Walmart. After scuffling, security pulled us apart as we waited for the cops. Why? Apparently I ruined her brother’s life and sent him on a “tragic” spiral after I refused to go to a high school dance with him. I have no idea who she’s talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 110

The Top

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 072

You deserved it 3 230

Today, I realized how little my husband, son and I mean to my in-laws. We were somehow left off the distribution list for my sister-in-law's birthday party. I even texted her to wish her well. It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't the fifth consecutive family event we were left out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 870

You deserved it 336

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 207

You deserved it 6 577

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 611

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 756

You deserved it 3 892

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 584

You deserved it 64 735