Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 919

You deserved it 798 785

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 875

You deserved it 8 704

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 10 862

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 590

You deserved it 9 943

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 186

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 626

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 89 256

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 794

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

nlite 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:34

the falcon punch is a humane method of abortion. :)

Ryu148 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:38

Pull out doesn't really work anyway, but at least now you know she's a raging bitch!

xSwickx 0

Monday 8 November 2010 12:46

actually it does! I've been having sex with my gf like that for the past 5 months and nothing has happened.

brittanydunn23 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 12:13

I have been doin it with my guy for 2 months no baby yet

crudeandrudeguy 29

Saturday 1 August 2015 19:31

I am truly amazed by how many stupid people are out there. The pull out method doesn't work, yes you can get pregnant at ANY time. JUST BECAUSE YOUR GIRLFRIEND ISN'T PREGNANT DOES NOT MEAN THE PULL OUT METHOD IS EFFECTIVE. You could be incredibly lucky or infertile. Which you should thank God for because you really should not breed anyways... I'm embarrassed for humanity

derangedplanet 23

Saturday 29 August 2015 23:31

Well in the form of logic, pull out method doesn't work for most. not all men have a sperm in their precum. it has to do with genetics. and I have years of biology classes telling me you're wrong about the anytime fact. how long sperm can live is definitly speculated over, and how long an egg survives is too. it all has to do with females genetics and male genetics. that being said the very longest a female should be susceptible to getting pregnant is like a week, maybe a week and a half if she has the lowest acidity ever. However, because the affect of genetics on a female are so unpredictable sex ed will always tell you always to keep dumb ***** like you guys from trying to use biological clocks as a birth control method. teens especially tend to have less than functioning biological clocks, some females even ovulate twice in a month. it's too unpredictable to be used as a bc method. On top of all this the ability to "get pregnant anytime" would be impossible. sperm can't create eggs, they have to travel through the fallopian tubes. sometimes eggs get fertilized in the tubes, this is known as a ectopic pregnancy and almost always ends in a miscarriage and sometimes death of the mother. sperm cannot survive in the ovaries where the eggs are stored. because a baby would surely die if grown in the ovary as would the mother. thank you very much now go away.