Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 837

You deserved it 798 613

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 865

You deserved it 8 698

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 174

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 001

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 579

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 313

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 238

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 775

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 818

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

MonkeySpeaks 4

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:07

@81 - errrr its the 21st century - abstinence doesn't work - look at Palins kid. :D How about - if you dont want a kid and want to have sex - BE PROTECTED (wear a condom and i fyoure in a relationship make sure your girl is on BC if she can be)

hairband78 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:10

Well you dont know this girl so you should have been careful. What if she had an STD? But with the whole baby daddy I would run and run fast. And pray to god she doesnt get pregnant or contact you.

wolfy_fml 5

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:13

No glove, no love! Jeez!

MEGAJOSH 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:20

#79, please kill yourself

nando92 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:21

lol id tell a freind to punch her in the stomach in a few months... then run away so she cant see who it was

JD3 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:28

For Christ sakes, it's called DONT **** her without a condom! Is it really that ******* difficult? If she gets preggers youre gonna have to pay child support. Is it worth it? I dont think so.

0336103 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:29

damns. you might have the hiv man. go get checked out.

msu4life541 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:31

My advice...long set of stairs

dol567 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:36

best FML ever!! that girl is hilarious..but sucks for you...

ChairmanMao 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:37

Hahaha, "wrap it before you tap it". That's a good one. All I have to say is... "Now you ****** up! Now you ****** up! You have ****** up now! Now you you have ****** UP." AND, you deserve it: 1. For ******* a complete stranger. 2. For trusting a complete stranger. 3. For not protecting yourself from a complete stranger. And no, #89. I don't think I'm acting holier than thou. I'm pretty sure that if you've had unprotected, drunk sex with someone you've only known one afternoon, you're just being stupid. Or maybe you're just a complete **** (assuming the word applies to both males and females). Learn from your mistakes, please.