Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 840

You deserved it 798 616

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 867

You deserved it 8 699

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 002

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 580

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 314

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 239

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 776

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 819

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

wonduhhbrayeddd 0

Monday 4 May 2009 5:13

first off, pulling out is only like 70% effective. second, your life SUCKKSSS.

Jimbo2000 0

Monday 4 May 2009 7:22

Just because you came inside her, doesn't mean that she will get pregnant. Like what was said earlier, it has to be the right time of the month

mtorres8789 0

Monday 4 May 2009 9:11

OMG. THATS JUST SO FUKED UP OMG LMAO... GOD I'M WORRIED FOR YOU. NOW LOL

lolbitch 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 0:15

Wow!!!

waterpoloweasel 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 4:05

thats why you stick to anal sex

skinonskin 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 5:24

AAHH! That is pure evil man! You should ******* kill her for that!

dslax08 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 15:48

I agree with number 8.... u should have jacked her in the ******* forhead and kicked her in the uterus repeatedly!!!

IshitCAKES 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 23:47

I kno how u feel that shit happened to me b4.. but **** it, thats why they invented stairs and hangers.. if she does get pregnant u can fix it with 1 of those ;)

italia33 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 1:55

pre-cum buddy, never trust the pull-out technique

masquerade08 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 10:50

well... compared to this risks involved... a condom would be the best option. Pulling out doesn't work, not that i've ever gotten pregnant. The only benefit is that i hear on a guys end sex minus the condom is better, and on the girls end... there is a hormone in semen that increases endorphin production, putting woman in a better mood. But with 1 in 4 adults having herpes... and the number of people with other STD's, not to even mention children. Better to wait till your sober anyway.