Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 840

You deserved it 798 616

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 867

You deserved it 8 699

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 002

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 580

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 314

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 239

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 776

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 819

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

AngelRaven89 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 5:53

#648 I F*CKING LOVE THAT SONG!! hahaha... "last week i sarw a film, as I recall it was a horror film..." random.... hahah.... anyways OP you are an idiot for trusting somone you don't know. Granted I don't see what exactly the chick was trying to achieve... unless you were the single hottest man on earth. But even then, you could be a complete moron, and seeing as think the pulling out method is adequate or completly safe i'd say you are. I believe that way is only okay if you are in a steady relationship that even if you do happen to get preg (well, your girl of course) then you wont regret it. YDI all the way. no sympathy. But it was good for a laugh, i favourited!

ifancythetrio 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 1:54

That's hilarious. Don't be an idiot. Wear a condom. Sheesh. How hard is that simple action?

slearnaro92 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 2:51

dude thats so funny wat a freak that girl is yo. but i bet it was a joke. dude haha lmao

xO_starstruck_xO 0

Monday 25 May 2009 1:26

congrats on being a new father xD

tonton27_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 3:56

you shouldn't have had unprotected sex with some random crazy person unless you were ready to parent/pay child support til the kid is 18. idiot. and fyi, she's probably on the pill and trying to scare you.

All_I_Care 0

Monday 25 May 2009 5:51

you poor bastard....well least you got laid rite?

WeeZ_eR 0

Monday 25 May 2009 16:21

Oh FFS people like you two shouldn't procreate.

Lisimal 7

Tuesday 26 May 2009 3:04

sneaky bitch!

sadg86 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 5:06

That's messed up but homie u put urself in that position......

toodrunc2no 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 7:00

Psycho bitch! But you did deserve it for not using a rubber. You should have got her back and said "No, I have AIDS!" Guaranteed she'd get an abortion if she did get pregnant (and she won't ever truly know if you were lying or not and has to get tested every year or some shit like that). And please don't start Pro-Lifers, women like her and guys like the OP should not be allowed to generate children... ever!