Work: Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and...

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 180

You deserved it 2 799

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 411

You deserved it 6 445

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 113

You deserved it 4 257

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 760

You deserved it 71 092

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 906

You deserved it 2 130

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 195

You deserved it 8 671

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 708

You deserved it 1 317

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 913

Never trust a cookie

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 14:01

Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 185

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 153

You deserved it 18 520

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 7 313

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:02

Why 2 hours later? Did you need time for your erection to go down?

frozenfreeze 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:21

It could have been worse. You could have had to pee while 130 guys were watching you.

Comments

shortii101 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 15:38

pow3n

dstack0906 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 15:39

i had to do that and one guy could piss unless he poooped

ClussmyLilFreak 9

Thursday 2 June 2011 15:39

What a nice sight. ;P

TokerDeviant 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 16:05

Great time to compare sizes? B]

TKrisha_fml 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 16:27

Your life truely sucks. FYL

bargarlm 2

Thursday 2 June 2011 17:00

at least you weren't alone...? sorry op, fml

FuckIt2010 3

Thursday 2 June 2011 17:22

im geussing your in a branch of the military so you signed a paper enlisting saying you agreed to be uncle sams bitch for however long so quit bitching

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 2 June 2011 19:34

That's what you get for supporting the stupid "war on drugs". I've turned down job offers simply because I wont be part of their drug paranoid fascist policies. Fire people based on their behavior, not because of their biochemistry. Next time I hope you have to personally gargle each cup.

boatkicker 4

Thursday 2 June 2011 20:32

It's great that you either have enough job offers or enough money that you get to do that. Not everyone has that option.

mlck1996 0

Friday 3 June 2011 8:05

you also live in your moms basement because you do not want to pay any of your hard earned money to the capitalist pigs who promote the false premise that drugs are addictive. yeah, it's a government conspiracy... the man just wants to keep you down. it must be awesome to be 19 and stupid.