Miscellaneous: Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party...

By Lady - 11/01/2010 00:21 - United States

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 284

You deserved it 44 352

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Same thing different taste

Drunken mess

By SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 295

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 841

You deserved it 2 260

By xMiSS_CuTiEx - 27/12/2009 22:25 - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 108

You deserved it 14 369

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 645

You deserved it 41 502

By JB - 07/12/2011 14:29 - United States

Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 013

You deserved it 28 749

Remodeling

By Spelit - 13/08/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 014

You deserved it 13 620

Hangover time

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 30 377

Silly idiot

By Heather - 04/03/2010 12:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 243

You deserved it 3 695

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 983

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 694

You deserved it 2 388

bluelabeled 0

Monday 11 January 2010 9:18

YDI. :/ since it seems like you're far too young to be throwing parties anyways (since you're getting rid of the evidence?).

E40_fml 0

Monday 11 January 2010 9:38

Maybe you should be sotally tober before you clean.

Comments

last12win 0

Monday 11 January 2010 20:27

Removal: Acetone. Oddly, I've done the same thing. Acetone will remove it. $1.99 at CVS or Riteaid.

Seventytimeseven 0

Monday 11 January 2010 20:27

Hahaha you must have been smashed OP that is a fairly epic fail

boroprincess18 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 0:17

Why didn't u just say you got sick and couldn't make it to the bathroom in time???

soozjw 2

Tuesday 12 January 2010 1:00

YDI, but that really made me laugh :)

Bertha5 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 1:55

IEP.

FML191919 3

Tuesday 12 January 2010 3:24

Dumbass do it wen ur sober. YDI for doing that while ur drunk

ooohlife 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 8:44

fake

mr_miyagi 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 21:23

just tell your parents you werent feeling good and puked and then you tried to clean it up

logieebearr 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 0:33

ya I threw a party about 2weekends ago..I didn't have to instantly get rid of the evidence but kick anyone out who gets wayy to shitfaced cause it sucks to clean everyones shit up..plus you shouldn't have gotten drink if the parties at your house your supposed to have a few drinks to watch and make sure shit doesn't get stolen,ruined,or broken..

TBee123 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 15:12

fYl? more like fMl. same thing happened to me on new years but at least you can actually make a decent excuse for sick. try having Blue WKD on your carpet. so yeh, having sercret parties is not something i recommend.