Miscellaneous: Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party...

By Lady - 11/01/2010 00:21 - United States

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 285

You deserved it 44 352

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Same thing different taste

Drunken mess

By SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 296

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 2 260

By xMiSS_CuTiEx - 27/12/2009 22:25 - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 109

You deserved it 14 370

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 645

You deserved it 41 502

By JB - 07/12/2011 14:29 - United States

Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 013

You deserved it 28 751

Remodeling

By Spelit - 13/08/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 015

You deserved it 13 620

Hangover time

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 30 378

Silly idiot

By Heather - 04/03/2010 12:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 245

You deserved it 3 695

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 984

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 695

You deserved it 2 389

bluelabeled 0

Monday 11 January 2010 9:18

YDI. :/ since it seems like you're far too young to be throwing parties anyways (since you're getting rid of the evidence?).

E40_fml 0

Monday 11 January 2010 9:38

Maybe you should be sotally tober before you clean.

Comments

Luckster 0

Monday 11 January 2010 10:44

YDI for being a moron. Seriously, what is with the trend of throwing wild parties while your parents are away? You know all that trust your parents had with you? GONE! I had so much trust with my parents, my Dad actually egged me on to throw a party while they were on a week-long vacation. I didn't throw one cause he failed to leave me enough money for snacks. XD (he left enough for one medium pizza to be delivered to me if I got tired of frozen dinners) It was finals week anyways, so no-go either way. TIMING!

bigz2k 0

Monday 11 January 2010 11:15

So I'm confused... Since when does any kind of non-hair adhesive come in an aerosol or spray bottle like cleansers do? I've never heard of such a thing. In any case, YDI for illiteracy. Good luck with sophomore year.