Miscellaneous: Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential...

By StromyG2 - 24/10/2011 14:54 - United States

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 045

You deserved it 3 274

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 135

You deserved it 5 090

By Anonymous - 20/02/2019 04:00

Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 048

You deserved it 206

By facepalm - 02/05/2019 00:00

Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 263

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 22:30 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 779

You deserved it 3 317

By Anonymous - 29/03/2012 16:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 734

You deserved it 2 950

By anonymous - 22/09/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 2 546

The R-word

By How old am I again? - 04/09/2022 17:30 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 498

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 494

You deserved it 1 513

By oh gee, you don't say - 15/12/2012 18:43 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 022

You deserved it 4 665

By fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 035

You deserved it 3 670

Classlfied 4

Monday 24 October 2011 19:00

Move out

CopeStraight 3

Monday 24 October 2011 19:01

Rule 1: don't take candy from the creepy dude down the street

Comments

alpha_kennyBody 3

Monday 24 October 2011 19:07

you can never be too careful. your pops is just being a good parent lol

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 24 October 2011 21:40

I believe there is such thing as being too careful.

copo37 7

Monday 24 October 2011 19:07

All those sweet tarts are actually ectasty tabs. He's making sure you don't confuse tripping balls with a sugar rush.

captainfalcon7 0

Monday 24 October 2011 19:15

what does he say about Christmas? "watch out for santa, cause if you've been naughty he'll get you!"

lilvic56 5

Tuesday 25 October 2011 7:36

"Now remember, in case you see a man with a white beard, that does not mean he's Santa. You shouldn't go in his 'sleigh' nor should you reach into his sack in search of a free candy cane. Oh, and don't jingle his bells!"... Prepared for the possible thumbs down >.

HomeAl0ne 20

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:46

"Watch out for Santa, he's sexually frustrated. He only comes once a year, and when he does he fills your stockings."

firemedic919 0

Monday 24 October 2011 19:18

move the **** on and get over it

Quasar55_fml 18

Monday 24 October 2011 19:28

Beware the kids roaming the streets. They have eggs and TP.

perdix 29

Monday 24 October 2011 19:44

Maybe if you quit trick-or-treating, he wouldnt have to lecture you. It's not cute anymore that you go grubbing for free candy dressed as a hipster parasite. Get a job and buy your own ******* candy!

some_girl9 8

Monday 24 October 2011 20:23

Dude, where does it say that the OP is 1. Trick or treating at all, 2. Trying to be cute, 3. Dressed as a "hipster parasite," 4. Doesn't have a job, or 5. Wants any ******* candy in the first place? It says NONE of that anywhere. You are one miserable jackoff.