Work: Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective...

By DocKreso - 28/06/2013 21:59 - Croatia - Split

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 890

You deserved it 6 392

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fijiflu - 05/11/2015 21:31

Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 548

You deserved it 1 542

We could be heroes…

By ally - 23/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 424

You deserved it 182

By Nickname - 12/10/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 765

You deserved it 13 862

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 521

You deserved it 3 398

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 825

You deserved it 3 714

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 335

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 138

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 422

You deserved it 3 283

By Anonymous - 05/05/2014 02:58 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 295

You deserved it 4 023

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 690

lu95 16

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:19

Hopefully said patient doesn't read this website! Otherwise, good luck being poor!

GrinchFu1 27

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:19

There's no hipaa violation if you didn't mention his name. Hahahaha!!!

Comments

diiiinkleberg 13

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:38

DocBastard?

olpally 32

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:53

Nope! Lol. Trust me, he'd be commenting if it was his. Haha.

CharresBarkrey 15

Saturday 29 June 2013 11:54

DocBastard usually puts his stories like this in his blog. It's very interesting.

olpally 32

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:40

Lol. Sounds like he was trying to recreate "the hangover" movie when he did this. Haha.

KiddoKS 19

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:42

If I was a doctor and I encountered situations like this one, I wouldn't be able to resist saying "rip cord!" when removing the object. Guess that's why I'm not a doctor :)

Glitter_taco_ 10

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:50

Don't worry we don't know his name!

DocBastard 38

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:50

My episode happened several years ago. It's still just as funny now as it was then, and it keeps getting funnier every time I look at the picture.

maximus_prime 24

Saturday 29 June 2013 10:53

I'm curious, how does a bottle get removed from there? I'm guessing painfully.

buckdharma 37

Saturday 29 June 2013 14:25

#39- Was it a 7-up?

buckdharma 37

Sunday 30 June 2013 18:31

Did you consult with Dr. Pepper?

SleepWalken 5

Monday 1 July 2013 4:35

Your profile pic makes this fml way funnier.

dvojplisen 25

Saturday 16 November 2013 4:20

#102: You have to drill a hole in the bottle first, so there won't be any vacuum behind it ;)

acrouch 9

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:53

Confidentiality is a bitch lol

rugby_lover09 13

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:54

So, the guy just happened to have his rectum lubed up and sat on a glass bottle? Right... :P

aeonsoul 12

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:55

Doctor patient confidentiality!!! c'mon, OP! Get with the program! :) nevertheless, I had a nice laugh, YLS

perdix 29

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:58

"Confidentiality, my ass!"

MzZombicidal 36

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:59

Because instead of just hurting him, that could KILL him. Yes, that was a ridiculously stupid thing to do, but no doctor should kill their patient from doing stupid things. They wouldn't have patients anymore!