Intimacy: Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack...

By Gothicbunnyx3 - 21/02/2012 01:43 - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 715

You deserved it 5 692

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 269

By nature - 25/09/2017 23:15

Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 378

You deserved it 338

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

By DearLord - 03/04/2020 23:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 178

Manosphere dumbass

By dadoftheyear - 07/05/2015 03:27 - United States

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 160

You deserved it 5 732

By mandm - 24/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 249

You deserved it 4 952

By badmom - 10/06/2009 18:09 - Canada

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 985

You deserved it 80 645

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 109

You deserved it 4 035

By nycol - 17/02/2012 14:13 - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 977

You deserved it 5 358

By offrampmotel - 28/03/2017 14:00

Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 376

You deserved it 741

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 889

You deserved it 30 898

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 21 February 2012 8:25

7 years old? damn! he's gonna have a beard at 13

bettyc4 26

Tuesday 21 February 2012 8:26

Kids...they start so young these days

Comments

amiewithaj 13

Wednesday 22 February 2012 2:55

A 7 year old shouldn't even know what that is...

mtrrace 4

Wednesday 22 February 2012 3:22

I didnt even know what a penis was at that age

onorexveritas 23

Wednesday 22 February 2012 4:26

haha I beat him still lol

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 22 February 2012 6:15

Woah. I started at like 11 or 12.

_funny_comment_ 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 6:56

it's a shame what's happening to our rights nowadays with this younger generation, what ever happened to life, liberty, and the persuit of jacking off?

OrigamiProdigy 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 7:30

I would beg to differ that a 7 YEAR OLD KID is masturbating... Especially in public. Like really?!

Sammmy7Rocks 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 7:46

Haha 7!!! Like a champ!!

hiphoplive 3

Wednesday 22 February 2012 8:11

he's really young, it good though your teaching him that.

purebeast75 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 8:33

Hahaha! I love everyones special words for masturbating. XD

Barn312009 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 10:49

He's a hopeful lil shit

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Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 352

You deserved it 3 008

Today, I met one of my favorite webcomic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth, he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 498

You deserved it 7 808

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Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 098

You deserved it 1 415

Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 227

Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 217

You deserved it 2 246

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 433

You deserved it 3 723

Today, my date turned up with her baby. Funny she never mentioned she was a single mom. She went to the bathroom and left the baby with me. Can you see where this is going? Yep, security footage showed that she walked out without looking back. I had to give the baby to the police. Shame on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 100

Today, I accidentally shut the door on someone who was walking behind me. After he opened the door, I turned, looked him sincerely in the eye and said, "Suffering". I meant to say sorry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 967

You deserved it 2 005

Same thing different taste

Oversharing

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

Manosphere dumbass

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