Miscellaneous: Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer...

By scheisse - 14/07/2013 21:25 - Germany - Herne

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 319

You deserved it 67 525

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 697

You deserved it 11 759

Lonely

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 01:00 - Nigeria

Today, I went to a party with 5 of my friends. Within five minutes, they'd all paired up and gone. Then it was just me, drinking my pain away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 30/04/2017 12:00

Today, after two months of being teased by my friends for getting wasted and passing out from only one shot, I learned that I wasn't actually too weak to handle the alcohol. My "friends" had secretly laced my drink with sleeping pills. They're now teasing me for believing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 486

You deserved it 495

By good friend - 27/12/2013 06:35 - United States - Missoula

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 531

You deserved it 5 818

Gratitude

By fuckmylife - 28/04/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 355

You deserved it 8 367

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 06:20 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 490

You deserved it 6 264

Nice try

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 21:00 - Philippines

Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 459

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 984

By Neednewfriends - 11/11/2015 14:38 - Australia

Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 413

You deserved it 2 668

By Anonymous - 19/07/2012 04:55 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 852

You deserved it 80 963

DrSo 15

Monday 15 July 2013 2:51

1. You had a non-alcoholic house party in Germany. 2. You fell for your own set up. How do you NOT deserve it?!

lakerfan8224 17

Monday 15 July 2013 2:51

The mind is a powerful thing.

Comments

Eivana 37

Monday 15 July 2013 4:46

You fell for your own plan? Good god, don't breed!

booshislove 8

Monday 15 July 2013 4:54

Either someone spiked your drinks, or you're a dumbass.

djalal_fml 11

Monday 15 July 2013 5:25

SCHEISSE ahah you can tell it ! ;p

AngrySailor 17

Monday 15 July 2013 5:35

Du hast ein vogel im kopf.

cjlikeschairs 5

Monday 15 July 2013 5:45

why even buy it....

prljm10 10

Monday 15 July 2013 5:50

Wow! You admitted to this?! Dumb ass!!

dlowry004 14

Monday 15 July 2013 6:20

Dumb dumb

Drifting 21

Monday 15 July 2013 6:25

Your a tool...

Lil_pink 8

Monday 15 July 2013 6:37

Wait i don't understand, How did you end up drunk?

ohdaniellaa 7

Monday 15 July 2013 6:52

lmaaao

SamanthaNGoree 10

Monday 15 July 2013 7:07

I guess I'm missing something. I don't get how would end up acting drunk when you knew it was non-alcoholic.

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The Top

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 728

You deserved it 2 411

Today, I asked my girlfriend of six months to be honest and tell me why she didn't give me a chance at first, two years ago when I first asked her out. I guess I shouldn't have asked, because her response was, "At first I wasn't digging you that hard, but the guys I liked didn't have your personality." FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 439

The Top

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 814

You deserved it 6 263

Today, I found out why my wife insisted on naming our first child "George" if it was a boy. It was her first love's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 842

You deserved it 2 711

Today, due to the high pollen count and despite taking hay fever medicine, I passed out in the bathroom from not being able to breathe. My mother accused me of doing it on purpose to make her late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 714

You deserved it 235

Today, my neighbour across the street has entered his ninth consecutive hour of playing Limp Bizkit at full blast. The only thing overriding my concern for his mental health is my sheer surprise that they have 9 hours of original music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 101

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 67 203

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 659

You deserved it 4 351