Intimacy: Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne,...

By fmylife7721 - 03/07/2011 05:51 - Canada

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 849

You deserved it 47 808

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Same thing different taste

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 3 431

Freaked out

By allergyface - 16/12/2009 03:34 - Canada

Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 2 483

By Disappointed - 04/10/2014 03:08

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying, "It's for my acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 802

You deserved it 5 127

By EpicFail - 11/01/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 2 374

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 268

By nybaby - 29/11/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 458

You deserved it 3 938

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 872

You deserved it 8 703

By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 653

You deserved it 16 469

By collball22 - 22/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 418

You deserved it 5 409

JDFromSac 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:21

stop putting cum on your face then

iAmScrubs 19

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:22

At least you can start your own business now. Proactiv 2: Ingredients Unknown.

Comments

Person1233 12

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:49

Autofelatio ftw.

Sweet121 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:49

Sperm actually is a fantastic source of protein. That's why it's called a facial. Spa quality for free....

markiesharkie 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:51

shut the **** up ass hole

markiesharkie 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:53

the_huldra 1

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:54

I love you

CaptainDouche 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 19:55

If that's true, Lindsay Lohan is acne free for life.

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 3 July 2011 20:24

Haha, she has a higher sperm count than most guys..

CaptainDouche 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 20:59

Niiice!

mexicant2011 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 20:04

haha that suxs

richboii 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 20:09

thats ur best line? Let me get rid of your acne?

spacemanspiff78 7

Sunday 3 July 2011 20:11

well, that definitely backfired. girlfriend for the win though

DaSexyBeast 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 20:13

wait are you telling me that this method doesnt actually work? damn I've been trying the sperm on the face technique for two years now.

AcidRaen 4

Sunday 3 July 2011 20:15

in the words of Michael Kelso "BUUURRRN!!!" hahaha OP's gf; 1 OP; 0

jessi030304 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 21:18

hahaha nice

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 3 July 2011 23:01

Good day. I said good day!

AcidRaen 4

Sunday 3 July 2011 23:41

i'm surprised people liked my comment.

CaptainDouche 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 23:52

Correction: person liked your comment. But I'll thumb you if that would help.

AcidRaen 4

Monday 4 July 2011 0:19

um okay. thanks. but i meant people liked it because the comments were positive instead of negative smart alec remarks. well at least the first two were. haha ;)