Intimacy: Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling...

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 20:49 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 339

You deserved it 9 361

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Same thing different taste

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 879

You deserved it 6 151

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 982

You deserved it 3 073

Bodyshaming sausages

By Anonymous - 05/01/2024 19:00

Today, I knew micropenises existed, I just never expected I’d see one in person after spending weeks building my anticipation of losing my virginity, getting naked in front of him, then being presented with half a cocktail sausage. Even if we had sex I think I’d still be a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 133

You deserved it 11 758

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 047

You deserved it 6 089

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 278

You deserved it 6 969

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 660

You deserved it 15 429

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 418

You deserved it 3 890

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 014

You deserved it 4 135

runamile 4

Thursday 6 January 2011 0:13

Well no use complaining about it...Next time upgrade to king size if it bothers you so much.

amerwin 3

Thursday 6 January 2011 0:20

How have u not seen/felt/tasted his tiny until this point? Have y'all even kissed yet? Its interesting that you would just skip straight to bumping uglies without first coming across his miniature **** at least once.

Comments

itsgen 16

Saturday 8 January 2011 10:05

pathedic!!! lmao

meintx 9

Saturday 8 January 2011 14:06

So, did you eat it up? Was it sweet and gooey?

ashurbanipal 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:33

I can take care of that problem for you

junegem62 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 17:15

it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean; i don't really think it should matter how big he is if you truly love him, you know what i mean?

tyty16 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 18:56

well some one has to be small to make everyone else look good!!!

teakaceli 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 22:53

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I PEED MY PANTS

AmbrosiaFan 18

Sunday 9 January 2011 23:15

Dummy, you are no longer a virgin as you had a penis in your hoo hah, no matter how small he was.

Sammara 0

Monday 10 January 2011 6:41

I read that girls can only feel pleasure for the first three inches in. Anything beyond that is just extra pressure--no more pleasurable than touching it with your hand, for instance. So, if he was less than three inches when erect, then that's too bad (and bizarre). If he's three inches or bigger, then it doesn't matter. And, regardless, at least he has a since of humor about it.