By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
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Top comments

WCARlover 34

+1 for describing it as "small child wrapped in barbed wire". I think that really adds to the imagery

188 3
kiran_fml 5

Maybe you should ask for an alternate medicine if they offer it.

68 4

Comments

perdix 29

The "small child wrapped in barbed wire" is called a beazor. What a great comedic word! It's like blumpkin.

3 1
DocBastard 38

Bezoar* And bezoars are typically found in the stomach, although they can technically be anywhere in the GI tract. Sorry, Perdix. I couldn't let it go.

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perdix 29

Thanks. I try to be correct with my spelling, but I think the spell-checker gives up on bezoar/beazor. I've heard they occur in the guts of people on narcotic pain-relievers, because one thing they slow down is the peristalsis that moves waste through the GI tract. Elvis and John Wayne reportedly had huge ones discovered in their autopsies.

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perdix 29

Doc, I hit Wikipedia (I'm sure you love when your patients go there or to WebMD) and found an even more awesome word: fecalith, a bezoar in the colon. A shit stone!

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DocBastard 38

Yup - fecaliths are very common causes of appendicitis, so I've removed several hundred of them. You can also have trichobezoars (hairballs) and phytobezoars (made of plant fibers). Google those two terms for some really disturbing images!

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perdix 29

Thanks, but after the Blue Waffle, I've resisted the urge to view disturbing images. I like the idea of the bezoars caused by eating unripened persimmons. There's an obscure word!

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simpleman124 1

Could be worse, it could always be worse

0 0
hollyisawesome 2

Try an enema!

0 4
lovebeecharmer 6

I'm allergic to it, makes me SCREAM involuntarily like I'm being murdered.

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lazypopo 0

Don't feel bad I'm recovering from a bilateral hip replacement and they have me oxycodone for pain medicine. It gets me really constipated too, but that's why the surgeon put me on laxatives and stool softeners. Maybe you should let your surgeon know and he/she will prescribe you some. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

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KatieSue7 10

I had this surgery as well and it was worse then when I was in labor. At least when I was in labor I got an epidural. The same thing happened to me. I would suggest going back to the doctor and telling them to prescribe you something. I went six days without going to the bathroom and it was hell. The longer you wait the more pain you will endure.

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KatieSue7 10

Oh, and drink LOTS of water. No amount of stool softener will help if you don't drink water so that the medicine will have water from your body to soften the stool with!

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skyeyez9 24

Drink some prune juice, it is supposed to loosen your poop and make you go easier.

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sougstad 7

Better break out the KY and push that shit out! Better then getting your shit pushed in!!!

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