Health: Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 856

You deserved it 9 140

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Same thing different taste

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 077

You deserved it 34 033

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 382

You deserved it 6 728

Butterfingers

By heeeeeyitsbrittney - 09/05/2019 08:00

Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 358

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 988

You deserved it 8 240

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 986

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 776

You deserved it 38 592

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

Heavy session last night?

By TaintedL0v3 - 11/03/2020 12:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I woke up with Chocolate Buttons superglued to my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 222

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 942

You deserved it 9 372

Gotta have it

By kp. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 992

You deserved it 59 178

FiasCudi 0

Tuesday 21 February 2012 18:48

how did you manage that?

CrimsonViolets 11

Tuesday 21 February 2012 18:50

"chocolate rain"... ow ****!

Comments

Jenchixo 1

Tuesday 21 February 2012 21:58

Sharp ass C H O C O L A T E

stonerchick420 3

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:03

I have the desire to stand up and clap.

br0ccoli 14

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:04

Death by chocolate! Whoaaa!

intimate_pretzel 6

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:09

she could have cut herself on the wrapper or something...

MrsUresti 8

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:15

Yummy chocolate!!!! :))

BoredAsHell5469 0

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:16

That's and odd way of cutting urself

sliz225 6

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:19

I feel your pain. Once injured myself with a tissue (shoulda blinked!). Was it at least tasty chocolate?

xxDefiantxx 0

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:19

hersheys new chocolate sharper flavor than ever before

LadyEmi 15

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:20

I think you should legit get an award for that feat.

Redneck_Mouse 1

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:20

WTF brand of chocolate do you eat?

simplyunique907 4

Tuesday 21 February 2012 22:23

im guessing the really sharp kind...

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 511

You deserved it 15 067

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I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 847

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 21 877

You deserved it 2 521

Today, my husband took our 5-month-old to the doctor, who diagnosed him with a severe sinus blockage and referred us to a specialist. This is the third major health problem with our son that our husband has picked up before I did. My job? I’m a nurse in a paediatric clinic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 738

Today, I have come to the conclusion that my fiancé is the most selfish person I know. I can't talk to him about it, because the conversation will just turn on how I'm the worst person he knows. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 375

Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 419

You deserved it 1 136

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 863

You deserved it 11 405

Today, I was cleaning out the crawlspace and set a mousetrap off with my testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 239