Love: Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty,...

By Anonymous - 09/12/2009 13:27 - United States

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 414

You deserved it 24 026

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 659

You deserved it 9 108

By BoredRunner42 - 07/09/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 636

You deserved it 6 575

Still a better a love story than Alien vs. Predator

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 273

Self-esteem boost

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 257

You deserved it 5 462

Unwelcome visitor

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 01:00 - United Kingdom - Barking

Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 796

You deserved it 2 191

We had a deal

By Tea biscuit Dunka - 27/07/2022 04:00

Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 428

You deserved it 6 394

By theuglyone - 14/11/2016 19:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 149

You deserved it 832

By Sub - 04/12/2009 01:14 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 660

You deserved it 4 368

Brukernavn 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:18

Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.

escualida 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:19

YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!

Comments

enigmatress 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 11:42

Tough call. Marriage vows don't say "until suicide threats or a new hottie us do part". But since the marriage is never going to last anyway, cut your losses sooner rather than later. The rest of us should take a lesson from this - don't get married for the wrong reasons. Ever.

wordgirl 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:23

So file for divorce. KILL two birds with one stone. Emotional blackmail is the lowest form of manipulation. She's evil, and you should leave her.

beertime36 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:57

Divorce now! Every single additional day with her is a waste of time.

jillz 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 15:55

Will you commit adultery? Are there children involved? If so, then her self pitying, psychotic nature must have not bothered you enough to deny her your offspring. The more children there are, the more you'll seem to be nothing more than a fair weather husband. Have you treated her worse because of your resentment for feeling trapped? We who read FML only get your ( biased ) version. No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. Divorce her so she can be free of you.

sammitysam 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 17:51

Dump her sad suicidal ass. I know it sounds cold but she has NO respect for you OR herself. F-her-L, she needs to get f@ck over it.

idesofmarch 1

Thursday 10 December 2009 18:32

Let her kill herself. If she does, you won't have to split your assets in the divorce. Then you can marry this cool chick and have all your stuff too. I envy you man.

TheSadCupcake 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 18:45

DEVURSE HER ND MARRIE MUDKIPZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```````````````111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111ONE`111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111BROCOLI!!!!!!!!!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~@#!#!