Love: Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty,...

By Anonymous - 09/12/2009 13:27 - United States

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 414

You deserved it 24 026

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Same thing different taste

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 659

You deserved it 9 108

By BoredRunner42 - 07/09/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 636

You deserved it 6 575

Still a better a love story than Alien vs. Predator

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 273

Self-esteem boost

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 257

You deserved it 5 462

Unwelcome visitor

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 01:00 - United Kingdom - Barking

Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 796

You deserved it 2 192

We had a deal

By Tea biscuit Dunka - 27/07/2022 04:00

Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 430

You deserved it 6 394

By theuglyone - 14/11/2016 19:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 149

You deserved it 832

By Sub - 04/12/2009 01:14 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 661

You deserved it 4 368

Brukernavn 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:18

Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.

escualida 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:19

YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!

Comments

Killn4Laughs 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:57

Pssh...lent her-I dont have sympathy for someone that kills themselves over ANYONE

lsd_25 8

Monday 3 October 2011 6:56

call her bluff

kodinbug 2

Saturday 8 October 2011 18:19

You're happiness is what matters. If you kills herself, hell, she did it not you. Leave her!

aceObjection 4

Thursday 13 October 2011 18:55

Welcome to the family! Would you like some emo with your bitch? No? Well that's to bad. But just to be serious, that really sucks.

Kolle 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 13:41

Call the bluff...

bladomas 2

Monday 17 October 2011 21:06

just divorse her and call the police, to lock her up, and marry your perfect girl

Bleepbloop360 7

Friday 21 October 2011 3:33

You are a colossal dick

rich203 0

Friday 21 October 2011 16:21

Take out a insurance policy and divorce. Win win.

MrIncredibleSME 3

Sunday 13 November 2011 2:29

So yeah, you should divorce and go for Ms. Whole Package. Have your current wife committed and put on suicide watch. Out sounds barbaric but it's for both of your own goods... kthxbye