Work: Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the...

By dulllife - 08/12/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 533

You deserved it 4 614

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 2 893

By insanitycalling - 26/10/2011 06:36 - Canada

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 449

You deserved it 3 483

Pizza mystery

By Pick out the picks - 24/09/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 128

Can't you see?

By imaqtb - 09/09/2010 03:35 - Canada

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said, "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said, "No, seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 37 614

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 270

You deserved it 8 489

By S. - 26/08/2012 16:20 - Estonia

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 289

You deserved it 12 745

By Anonymous - 24/01/2013 01:44 - United States - Waldorf

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 665

You deserved it 6 175

By sirengamer - 14/06/2017 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 980

You deserved it 313

By embarassed - 14/01/2011 10:11 - United States

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 928

You deserved it 5 367

By Simon Cowell - 08/09/2018 20:30

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 872

Buttsexpirate 9

Thursday 8 December 2011 12:02

Dude you're gonna lose your shit when the new tablecloths come in.

sariannacanna 6

Thursday 8 December 2011 11:54

Those toothpicks are pretty cool.... Lol

Comments

jaredofmo 22

Thursday 8 December 2011 15:02

Hey, it's cool to appreciate the little things. Still, if you feel your life is boring, I'd recommend attempting a social life.

IndigoAcrylic 9

Friday 9 December 2011 7:41

Small things are nice ^^ But it's the "big things" that excite us if yaa catch my drift (; MMMHMMMM yeaaaaa ^_^

jaredofmo 22

Friday 9 December 2011 14:51

I catch it!

xrudeboyrock 29

Thursday 8 December 2011 15:42

we got mini-swords for toothpicks once, and it was legit the highlight of ALL the servers' days.

DammitDammit 2

Thursday 8 December 2011 15:52

I wish I could be so bored. Remember the old Jewish curse - "May you live in interesting times."

geon_olam 17

Thursday 8 December 2011 18:51

chinese curse dumbass 寧為太平犬，不做亂世人

IndigoAcrylic 9

Thursday 8 December 2011 21:22

Bitch please...I'm jewish and ya...The jews kinda stole that from the chinese xD

brick_man33 14

Thursday 8 December 2011 16:07

how fancy op, the restaurant I ate lunch at yesterday didn't have toothpicks.

2dog 15

Thursday 8 December 2011 17:02

Wow, you must have a really boring life

iKendall 3

Thursday 8 December 2011 17:05

PoisonGirlInc 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 18:15

Man colored toothpicks are the shizzle

uy_fml 4

Thursday 8 December 2011 19:20

That honestly does sound exciting.

superman2234 2

Thursday 8 December 2011 20:09

That's sucks

LovesickLeopard 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 20:11

I know how you feel, OP.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, our computer system has irretrievably broken down due to viruses. My boss is the one who refused to get new antivirus software, but he’s still blaming me because I’m the computer guy and should be able to protect us from stupidly complicated viruses, "like the hackers in the movies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 250

Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 690

You deserved it 3 942

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 890

You deserved it 1 675

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate with for the first time in a while, as I haven't been home, when the foul stench of our dog's fart made us gag. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 209

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 338

You deserved it 3 259

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 890

You deserved it 2 924

Same thing different taste

Pizza mystery

Can't you see?

Top comments

Comments