By btoker - 15/10/2015 16:16 - United States - New York

Today, I opened up to my boyfriend about being sexually abused in the past. He said it explains why I'm "such a bitch" when it comes to personal contact. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 069
You deserved it 2 331

btoker tells us more.

Hi guys, OP here. He is my ex now, because I decided that his aggressive undertones means I might be in for a repeat. He is pretty aggressive in general, and this is one of a few examples so its probably best to move on before its too late. I'm 22 years old and was abused at 16, so he doesn't understand how I couldn't be over it by now. I'm currently looking for other places to live because we live together. Thank you all for the positive support, I am going to try to get myself into a better situation as fast as I can.

Top comments

He's a douchebag and I seriously hope that you dumped him. Sorry for what you went through, OP!!

What happened to you wasn't your fault, get rid of him

Comments

Guard_Babe 19

That's really shitty. I'm very sorry. I've been in a sort of similar situation. I would have just kicked his ass and thrown him out the door and told him to never come back.

ohmyrosie 14

get rid of that piece if shit! you deserve someone better! someone who will be more understanding! !

First off, he's a total douche bag. Second, you may actually have some personal contact issues that you don't really realize from the abuse but that sure isn't the right way to bring it up and he definitely isn't someone who is going to help you work through them and is more likely someone who start abusing you.

ouch. I'm very similar. I'm getting better. although I go to a rock night the amount of people that will shake your hand is un real. I was doing well until someone touched my hands repeatedly then I had a full on freak out. take your time with things. he may understand a bit more now he knows. anyway if you ever want to chat send me a message :)

Give him a chance - it is hard news to get used to!

Are you kidding me? No real mature man would react like that. That's called being an insensitive asshole.

Hard for HIM to get used to? Sorry, no. He can get used to it away from her. She needs support and understanding. The whole time. If he can't do that, then she needs to find someone who can.

booboom 18

You deserve better than him, I'm happy you ended it. A similar thing happened to me when I was 17. I kept it a secret because I was scared and ashamed because I wasn't strong enough protect myself. I eventually told my boyfriend because I wouldn't want to be touched at all and I would freak out even if he tried to hold my hand. Thankfully he was supportive and he understood why I would freak out and not want to be touched at times. I'm 22 as well and I'm still with him because of his understanding and respect for me. You deserve to find someone who is understanding and respects you too. Never let anyone put you down. You are strong and you deserve happiness. When I read your FML I got angry for you because of how harshly he responded. I'm happy that you are in the process of getting him out of your life. I wish you the best in life.

People can and do get over sexual abuse. It may change you but all bad experiences do. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse, I've moved on. I'm not "haunted" I'm not a "victim" I don't live in constant fear of someone waiting to "strike".

You moved on, good for you. You're not every sexual abuse survivor. You do not have the right to tell us how to act or behave. I still have horrible PTSD and can't talk to a therapist because I withdraw into myself and refuse to talk about it.