You need to tell her the truth. The hymen isn't what makes the first time hurt. The first time is painful for so many women because they are nervous and not properly aroused. Both lead to tightening of the muscles which can be painful because they are being forced open. When she is ready, she will need to relax and make sure that there is enough foreplay. If you are honest with your daughter instead of trying to scare her or keep information from her then she's more likely to come to you when she has other questions or wants advice.

Geeze I never thought about sex when I was 14..

You are obviously confused at 14 and 15 you are in high school. And yes teenagers know what sex is for.

Not advocating that she goes through with that ( I did the same at one point, about 14 ) but that doesnt change the fact that my first time hurt like a mofo

Sighs. The first time isn't supposed to hurt anyway

Speaking as someone who had the surgery for medical reasons - yeah, the stretching causes the discomfit, not a hymen, as I discovered. The surgery itself doesn't hurt (no stitches). 14 is not too young to think about this stuff, so it's not surprising she's worried about that and who knows...by the time she finally gets around to doing anything, the hymen may have broken up/dissolved anyway (unless she has my problem lol). As an aside, in my country 14 is the age that you can do the surgery without parental permission.

Good chance to talk to her about what a first time should be--and dispel that stupid myth about hymens "breaking" when a ****** is penetrated for the first time! There is not supposed to be pain or blood--the hymen is supposed to stretch, not be torn (assuming it is not unusually thick or she does not suffer vaginismus) . Laci Green has a great video on this subject called "you can't pop your cherry" and in fact your daughter may find her whole channel useful.

What would your plan be to tell her? "No sweetheart, babies come from the stork. There is no such thing as a 'hymen' and if you talk about bad things like your peepee again, Santa will put you straight on the naughty list!" Because, I'm pretty sure a comprehensive educational conversation where you explain to her how the body she will be in for the rest of her life functions, and you respect her intelligence as a pubesant adolecent, instead of a child who deserves to be kept in ignorance, may actually garter her respect enough to listen to you when you explain that though her body is ready, the rest of her is not.

Actually 52 during times before the middle ages and a couple after centuries after then, girls had their kids at around 14-16. None of this "shipped off to be adopted" crap. Once you had your first period, you were free game to get married and start pumping out spawn

Every one has hymen and if you need a hymen operation it due to birth defects and by the way 60% of women doesnt bleed at all first time having sex and the reason the firs time sex hurt isnt due to the hymen unless it is extremely malformed but due to being nervous and not wet enough. I think you need to sit down and find good talk about really happens when you have sex and give her condoms and lube.