Miscellaneous: Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I... - FML

By yeyt209 - 10/06/2012 07:46 - United States - Bismarck

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 588

You deserved it 10 135

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By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 360

What a wonderful life

By Anonymous - 26/10/2010 02:43 - United States

Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 062

You deserved it 13 036

By pantless - 23/10/2016 09:31 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 247

You deserved it 10 699

Not lovin' it.

By Anonymous - 17/07/2018 01:30

Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald's. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 013

You deserved it 298

By FUCKKKS - 03/03/2013 17:37 - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 932

You deserved it 6 095

Hit and run

By whyme - 02/09/2016 04:33 - United States

Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 803

You deserved it 1 279

By stardustveins - 24/09/2015 01:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru and listening to some music. I was tapping my non-driving foot to the song when I accidentally tapped the wrong foot and rear ended the cop car in front of me. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 047

You deserved it 27 942

By idiot - 09/07/2012 21:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 084

You deserved it 23 531

By mazey93 - 09/12/2016 19:14 - United Kingdom - Newport

Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 076

You deserved it 779

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 517

Next

Top comments

loserman67 35

Sunday 10 June 2012 16:54

Well, that's what you get for either: A: Being drunk or B: Eating that crap. Could have been worse, you could have been woken up by a clown.

allard 14

Sunday 10 June 2012 16:57

Did he buy you a McWakeTheFuckUp?

Comments

momo1972 3

Monday 11 June 2012 0:07

Must have been a donut shop in the same center, curious....why is that an FML?

Il_Maestro 6

Monday 11 June 2012 0:49

I didn't know dogs could blush. Learn something new everyday!

MsKittyKatWeber 10

Monday 11 June 2012 1:19

Lamest FML, ever.

CoconutOil 7

Monday 11 June 2012 3:20

I'm lovin' it.

jadamsclassic 5

Monday 11 June 2012 6:00

at least you weren't driving when you passed out...

quandtu 3

Monday 11 June 2012 14:36

I hate being woken up by cops.

cnorris31 2

Monday 11 June 2012 16:58

Thats alright just get a happy meal afterward.

noisebox 1

Monday 11 June 2012 21:00

Did he try to steal your big Mac or give you a big wack?

ItsTaylorGang 0

Monday 11 June 2012 23:11

Maybe if you were drunk or blitzed out of your mind it would've been bad. But this, who cares?

ma1_eatley 2

Tuesday 12 June 2012 0:14

The McDonalds people probably called it in as a suspicious person or somebody thought he might be ill and requested a welfare check. He wouldn't get a DUI. Car was in a parking lot not a public roadway. I'm betting he was drunk. PI at worst. I've been the cop knocking on the window on numerous occasions.

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The Top

Today, I started my day with terrible food poisoning and ending my day alone, with a boyfriend in jail. We've had one short conversation since he was arrested. My birthday is in three days, and we have no idea if he will be released in time because of the system working slowly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 419

Today, my parents were watching videos of police officers dealing with stubborn suspects. I overheard my mom saying, "It's like a Christian trying to argue with an atheist about God" and my dad agreed. Good to know that they're still as intolerant as ever, and it will never be safe for me to come out as an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 187

The Top

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 777

You deserved it 5 802

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 916

You deserved it 55 319

Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 698

You deserved it 2 775

Today, I found myself cussing out the next dipshit fucked in the head enough to open its bitch mouth and mumble to itself about how I was the newest main stressor of it’s bitch-fit of a day. Taking into account the pathetic aspect of “rubbing it in” I then proceeded to cuss out the next person who got in my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 664

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 069

You deserved it 3 715

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 365

You deserved it 44 339