Intimacy: Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister,... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 15:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 599

You deserved it 4 844

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

Jailbird

By Donnie - 18/07/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 526

You deserved it 235

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 898

You deserved it 4 385

By Oops - 11/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Anchorage

Spicy

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 768

You deserved it 936

Work name

By Van - 09/11/2019 05:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 467

By Anonymous - 09/03/2010 07:47 - United States

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 331

You deserved it 4 607

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 14:31 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 730

You deserved it 8 314

By meegs - 17/10/2010 00:31 - Canada

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 025

You deserved it 31 770

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 676

You deserved it 4 261

By Anonymous - 27/06/2019 00:15 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 227

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 126

You deserved it 3 562

Next

Top comments

dcg_957 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:48

Try explaining that story over thanksgiving dinner

ninjuh_wingman 29

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:52

Your parents must be so proud.

Comments

Boston_4_Life 3

Wednesday 1 February 2012 19:57

How much did you have too pay?

earlw 6

Wednesday 1 February 2012 20:05

Dud she give you a discount?

silencedistant 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 20:10

You are truly a wonderful person to pick her up from jail. I can only imagine that the ride home meant the world to her. I know it's frowned upon in North America, but prostitution is legal in many areas of the world and in some ways is a helpful service to the public. If it were legal there would probably be less rapes and overall sex crimes then there are in places where you can't legally hire a sex worker.

Gabrielle_2k14 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 20:15

That's gonna be an interesting story to tell 10 years from now.

jose1760 1

Wednesday 1 February 2012 20:21

Does she give you a family discount!?!?

eviannastorm 4

Wednesday 1 February 2012 20:23

Haha I totally think I know OP! I talked to someone who had the same thing happen...

rayofsunahine25 4

Wednesday 1 February 2012 20:42

sibling of the year award

Niedermayer_20 12

Wednesday 1 February 2012 20:43

That's absolutely great Lmfao

babyshaft408 8

Wednesday 1 February 2012 20:47

Is she hot? How much

Gtaylorfication 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 21:02

Gotta make a living somehow I guess

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The Top

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 283

You deserved it 3 723

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 074

You deserved it 68 621

The Top

Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 2 354

Today, my mother-in-law called me selfish, lazy and a bad mother for giving my kids chores, like picking up toys and shoes. When we got married, my husband didn’t even know how to load a dishwasher or run a load of laundry. According to her, a "real mother" waits on her family hand and foot. Yeah, OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 244

Today, the pain in my ribs was so bad I thought it’d be a good idea to stick the 24-hour heat patch on my skin to get the best out of the heat. When I removed it, it tore a bunch of my skin off. And I still have rib pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 269

Today, I'm in love with a beautiful Russian woman. We are so compatible. However, I'm in a relationship though, in which my partner won't touch me or tell me she loves me. I'm in trouble every day for anything and everything. I'm faithful even though I've only had sex maybe 5 times in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 914

Today, I went on a date with a guy who was leaving the next day. I went out with the intention of a having a carefree good time, as a single parent I don't get many and they haven't been good in years. I ended up having the BEST night in a long time, we stayed up all night talking and pleasuring ourselves, now I don't know when I'll find that again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 347

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 2 433