Miscellaneous: Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea....

By highleyj - 01/04/2009 08:16 - United States

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 277

You deserved it 19 933

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 651

You deserved it 38 899

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 4 208

By Crap - 30/07/2015 00:57 - United States - Seminole

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 178

You deserved it 1 709

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 129

You deserved it 53 798

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 9 156

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 714

You deserved it 35 128

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 893

amykillswitch 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:04

why would you use money. take your underwear off and use those. then throw them in the garbage. so what if you lose a pair of undies and have to go commando all day? at least you would have had money to go buy some more.

McButterpants 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:03

I prefer to wipe with hundreds but that's me..

Comments

unibrowicorn 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:08

I think i just wouldnt wipe...

silverstar210 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 3:39

ewwww who r u? ewww who would do that unless ur homeless

shali14 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 2:56

dude that is just gross! Yu weirdo

emodude44 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 23:36

If I was stuck in a bathroom with no toilet paper and the options to A: Wipe with money or B: Not wipe for now but find a bathroom where I could? I'd choose B.

6tori6 5

Sunday 6 November 2011 16:05

253- are you nine?....

Phlecks 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:08

High roller. I wipe with quarters.

unibrowicorn 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:08

I think i just wouldnt wipe...

blazerbum 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:09

no way 2 bills can clean up explosive diarrhea, I use half a roll of toilet paper for that

theoldGP 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:09

#6 that's awesomeeeee lmao. i've never gone commando. shall i try it one day? maybe =]

wasted0087 0

Monday 15 February 2010 10:21

It's mighty fun, also easy to moon :)

Jdeluxh 12

Wednesday 20 July 2011 23:22

I did. Coincidentally it was also the first time I got pantsed.

vt_mruhlin 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:11

Really, it would probably be more sanitary to just not wipe your ass. Money moves through so many hands (and evidently asses), that it gets pretty gross.

Luunatic 13

Saturday 7 August 2010 19:16

agreed

themixedt4pe 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:13

Actually, if there's an empty stall next to you (if there isn't, you can wait) that has the toilet paper dispenser on the wall close to you, you can just reach under the divider and get some toilet paper. So unless it really was an impossible situation, you totally deserve losing $10 for not being smarter to find an alternative.

effliffe 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:13

I agree with #8, just wait till nobody's there and sneak over to the next stall.

shali14 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 2:58

or just ask someone in there to give Yu a lot of toilet paper

Etc80 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:14

# 16 Ummm... And you don't think walking around with explosive diarrhea in your ass all day would get gross??? I had a similar problem once. I used my socks....

xkaokaox 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:15

thats why you always look before you sit! can't you wipe your ass with the toilet seat cover? I never go to the bathroom without one of those... OR. you could open your mouth and ask somebody to hand you some toilet paper. One time I was in a public bathroom and a hand reached out from underneath the stall and asked me for some lol.