Miscellaneous: Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it...

By unlovedfatty - 16/12/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 569

You deserved it 4 979

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Same thing different taste

By SadManKillMeNow - 25/05/2019 22:00

Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 2 891

By Thanks guys - 26/11/2013 05:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 4 927

By insultedguy - 03/01/2011 17:28 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 303

You deserved it 4 431

It's never fun

By Jeff Newsroom - 19/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to post a throwback photo of myself in high school on Facebook. I didn't realize I was still logged into my work account. Now all my colleagues and clients have seen my awkward teenage years, complete with braces, pimples, and an unfortunate haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 630

By thepokemonkid - 27/02/2013 05:03 - United States - Avon

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 324

You deserved it 4 150

Ghost town

By TheL1nds - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia - Kingswood

Today, I checked my fake Facebook account for the first time in ages and realized that the "fake me" got more birthday greetings than the "real me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 605

You deserved it 28 404

By zuut - 18/01/2009 05:22 - Australia

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 252

You deserved it 9 329

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 34 729

Log out

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, my friend accidentally left her Facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her Facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 955

You deserved it 8 622

By SadFace - 21/02/2013 13:04 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 3 961

AKskier1 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 9:01

fyl. that sucks. what dicks

italiangurrl 8

Thursday 16 December 2010 9:06

well...I guess sometimes ignorance is bliss, although I'd rather know who I can and cannot trust. to hell with them. lol

Comments

milomay 0

Monday 28 March 2011 8:58

Caroline field! right?

Fuutballer 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 9:13

... Why the hell would your friends post status updates about YOU? I call bullshit.

MeCabo 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:40

That's what you get when you add people you don't know

Miss_Blaine 18

Friday 12 August 2011 17:32

Not so secret anymore op, sorry

RAUN 8

Saturday 19 November 2011 6:46

At least they wrote about you and you know what they think now.

whoaa123 0

Monday 23 July 2012 3:48

Are you sure it's a secret?

bayliebug 14

Saturday 21 September 2013 14:55

Gosh. I'm so sorry OP. Really sucks to find out that your friends weren't really your friends at all. ):

Tressa1982 18

Friday 11 October 2013 16:33

Looks like you need deactivate your friends

__U__S__E__R__ 7

Thursday 13 March 2014 4:49

Should've told them that you were back on. And then found new friends.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 85

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 146

The Top

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 802

You deserved it 2 694

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 177

Today, after a 10-week internship/interview process, I found out that I was passed up for a job I was competing with the other interns for. I also found out that the girl who sat next to me, who constantly borrowed my notes, and who needed help for every task got hired instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 147

You deserved it 1 209

Today, I posted an event to have a get together with friends. Most of them put "not attending". I hadn't even set the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 700

You deserved it 5 966

Today, I learned that I'm highly allergic to onions. I love onions and they're in literally *everything*. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 146

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 762

You deserved it 2 979

Same thing different taste

It's never fun

Ghost town

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