Intimacy: Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body...

By JC - 26/03/2012 20:56 - United States - Villa Ridge

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 908

You deserved it 6 144

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Same thing different taste

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 9 429

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 833

You deserved it 6 345

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 23:15 - United States - Angleton

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 632

You deserved it 57 719

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 187

You deserved it 5 868

Don't listen to Cosmo

By FMBs - 30/04/2014 23:40 - Puerto Rico - Guaynabo

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 742

You deserved it 7 199

Vibe check

By Hopelesslover - 04/08/2009 21:03 - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 816

You deserved it 17 655

By Deweyboy - 10/10/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 410

You deserved it 5 117

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 919

You deserved it 4 097

Feelings

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 600

You deserved it 9 796

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 951

You deserved it 6 207

jazziness 12

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:17

Doesn't matter, had sex.

tripangelx8 4

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:20

the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed

Comments

emba_fml 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:32

imagination.

kuges 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:50

Heyyy

kat2812 1

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:12

at least you made the effort!! she should not have laughed at you....i bet after being laughed at you will be real eager to try new things huh

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:13

That's what you get for trying to learn sexual techniques from a book. From now on, just do what the rest of us do - watch ****. You'll quickly learn that every boss sleeps with someone in the office daily, threeways are extremely common and never awkward, 17 position changes are a must, women climax at the slightest touch, and all women love facials.

mikeymayhem_87 15

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:42

Don't forget they love anal too!

hugsnkissesforu 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 7:09

Oh my, you sure do know quite about now, don't you? (;

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:20

You need to man up and keep your face down in it. You can't bob up and suck in some fresh air from time to time. They want to see some dedication and you need to show it my not impersonating some ridiculous zoo animal.