Intimacy: Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body...

By JC - 26/03/2012 20:56 - United States - Villa Ridge

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 908

You deserved it 6 144

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 9 429

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 833

You deserved it 6 345

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 23:15 - United States - Angleton

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 632

You deserved it 57 719

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 187

You deserved it 5 868

Don't listen to Cosmo

By FMBs - 30/04/2014 23:40 - Puerto Rico - Guaynabo

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 742

You deserved it 7 199

Vibe check

By Hopelesslover - 04/08/2009 21:03 - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 816

You deserved it 17 655

By Deweyboy - 10/10/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 410

You deserved it 5 117

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 919

You deserved it 4 097

Feelings

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 600

You deserved it 9 796

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 951

You deserved it 6 207

jazziness 12

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:17

Doesn't matter, had sex.

tripangelx8 4

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:20

the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed

Comments

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:42

I just think it is nice to hear that you're trying to give your girlfriend mind blowing orgasms. I wish my boyfriend would do that. You get a good grade in my book for the effort.

Rebekkah1993 10

Tuesday 27 March 2012 7:03

I find it a little funny because your picture is an Apple and your commenting on this fml ...an I totally agree with what you said...it's nice to see people genuinely try to please someone they love... :-)

ladyLALAA 28

Tuesday 27 March 2012 10:36

I agree, should have given OP a chance, could have worked a treat if she gave it a try.

brookig 10

Tuesday 3 April 2012 8:27

Kudos to you for trying OP At least you put in the effort. She should be grateful to you for trying!

soupisyummy 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:48

Take it as a complement ? ..No?...

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:32

In what situation would looking like "a giraffe bobbing for apples" be a compliment ???

Ferretface 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:34

When you're in a contest and first place goes to whoever looks like "a giraffe bobbing for apples" the best.

MargieDrury 1

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:48

Wow, well you know they say girls get turned on by animal noises.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Tuesday 27 March 2012 8:22

What the hell girls are you going with? Well outside furries anyways :p

idoam 8

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:51

At least this probably means she isn't into **********

LuckyTroll 6

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:54

Am I the only one who found this funny?

DrumMajor 5

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:00

Obviously not since this FML made it past all the moderators.

ultra_notorious 26

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:06

Bitch should be more appreciative of you trying to bring her pleasure!

MrGroovy28 7

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:13

I mean it's one thing if you aren't giving her orgasms at all-- it's another if you are trying to upgrade the ******. Instead of reading excerpts from other places, let your mind do any extra imagination and go with it.