Intimacy: Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body...

By JC - 26/03/2012 20:56 - United States - Villa Ridge

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 910

You deserved it 6 145

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Same thing different taste

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 413

You deserved it 9 431

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 836

You deserved it 6 346

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 23:15 - United States - Angleton

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 634

You deserved it 57 724

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 195

You deserved it 5 870

Don't listen to Cosmo

By FMBs - 30/04/2014 23:40 - Puerto Rico - Guaynabo

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 742

You deserved it 7 201

Vibe check

By Hopelesslover - 04/08/2009 21:03 - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 820

You deserved it 17 657

By Deweyboy - 10/10/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 412

You deserved it 5 119

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 4 098

Feelings

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 604

You deserved it 9 796

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 954

You deserved it 6 207

jazziness 12

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:17

Doesn't matter, had sex.

tripangelx8 4

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:20

the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed

Comments

PrettyNightmares 5

Tuesday 27 March 2012 21:17

Haha, oh the mental image I have

impress69 6

Tuesday 27 March 2012 21:32

LOL, hey at least ur caring enough to want to please her

Sarojin 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 22:58

that's oddly specific.

BunBunBabe 8

Tuesday 27 March 2012 23:34

This FML pissed me off, more guys should try to please their women and you were actually taking time out of your life learning how to pleasure her, tell her that when she sucks dick she looks like a gerbil smuggling sausage... That bitch