By really - 22/05/2016 02:23 - United States - Denver
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By really - 22/05/2016 02:23 - United States - Denver
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I think it's time you had a heart to heart with Palmela Handerson
Depending on how happy each of you are with the relationship, this seems pretty normal. My partner and I have a happy relationship and are both more than satisfied with our sex life.. But we work crazy hours and sometimes one is too tired or the other leaves for work way earlier in the morning, it probably happens more often than not. But shouldn't be a big deal, who cares as long as you both are happy?
YDI OP. Stop whining and do something about it instead.
you can probably fix that. Get him to stop yanking his knob, and enjoy you more.
...and what are you doing about that?
Communication is key. He might be writing the exact same FML, feeling like he has to take care of himself because he is under the impression that you don't want it.
Does he go to the shooting range?
Time to teach him what a Dutch Rudder is.
Here's what I don't get. It's obvious to most that we can train our selves mentally (habits) and physically. In most of western culture it's recognized that sex is a combination of physical and psychological. So why doesn't it make sense that we can train ourselves sexually? It is obvious to me that your BF has trained himself to his hand. In the US (despite #28's protestation) the vast majority of men ********** to **** and/or memories of ****. This generally causes a variety of problems, including a quick finish in the sack. You can do better. TL:DR This is a problem. If he wont stop find a man that prefers ****** over his hand.
There is not enough information here to make the assumption that the problem is entirely the boyfriend's fault. There is a shitload of reasons as to why this could be happening. For all we know, the boyfriend could be getting rejected when initiating sex or vice versa, they might live far apart, they might have busy lives and have trouble finding the time, either the boyfriend or OP might be trying to initiate sex with the wrong timing (eg, end of an exhausting work day or on a stressful day), the boyfriend may do it to unwind, it goes on. Nowhere in the post did OP state that the boyfriend told OP he prefers wanking over OP, the post implies that this is how it made OP feel upon learning this- there is no information to confirm that this is exactly what is going on. They need to talk about it- not train each other. Furthermore, it's incredibly apathetic to regard humans as nothing more than animals that require training- especially if it's a significant other. That's disgusting.
You had several valid points, right up until the last two sentences. Ask ANY mental health professional or physical trainer, it is most definitely possible to train ones self, and others. It's just the way we humans are. By now you have probably trained yourself into several habits, good and bad. If you think it's disgusting for me to acknowledge this facet of human existence, that's your problem. As for the apathetic part. If you actually think that, you either don't know that the word means, or don't know how to use it in a way that makes any sense.
I believe problems like these are more complex than simple misbehavior that needs nipping in the bud. Also we cannot change others- only ourselves. To me, attempts to "train" another person is willfully disrespectful and selfish- even if you're doing it for reasons that are, in your opinion, the best for that person or for their own good. To do this to another would show your apathy or indifference towards that person in the sense that you are disinterested in or lack sympathy for their right to just be as they are. And yes my disgust is my own problem and I'm not telling you that you are wrong or that you have to change your mind about it, I'm just saying it's wrong to me and I'm simply sharing ideas- just the same as OP's problem and intention through making this post in the first place.
Keywords
So does that make him his own right hand man.
Pull out your vibrator and give his hand some real competition ... In all seriousness, talk to him and see if you can work on the relationship. See if he can start using all that hand action on you, and start some mutual fun time.